


Love and Changes

by Val_Creative



Series: Perfect Imperfect [2]
Category: Degrassi the Next Generation
Genre: Break Up, Dating, F/F, F/M, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, Romance, Violence, Warnings for early writing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-06
Updated: 2014-03-18
Packaged: 2018-01-14 16:51:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 23,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1273912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Val_Creative/pseuds/Val_Creative
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After high school, Marco learns to accept, and to also let go.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

*

 

_"Congratulations to the Grade 12 Seniors, we wish you all the best. See you at graduation…"_

Within the halls of Degrassi Community School, shouts and screams ricocheted when the last of the end-of-the-day announcements were finished by Principal Raditch. The final bell of the school year rang and crowds of students poured out through the doors led by the gleeful faces of the upperclassmen.

Cars of various colors and styles sped out of the student parking lot; around the far left side, one senior jumped out of the way of a furious driver. His blue shoulder-bag fell onto the concrete ground and his dark hair got windswept over his big, almost black eyes. In the distance, he could hear someone bellow, " _Move out of the way, queer_!"

Marco rolled his eyes upwards in annoyance and picked up his bag effortlessly. Within the crowd behind him, a voice yelled, "Del Rossi, come on!" He peered around to his best friends who waved to him down the way. A grin spread over his face as he stepped over, getting slapped on the back by Craig Manning and Gavin 'Spinner' Mason. Craig said to him, brushing back a curl of his hair, "You going to Jimmy's before-graduation party, right? Gonna be fun."

"Cool, yeah. Sounds great, guys."

"So, what we suppose to be doing?" asked a clueless Spinner.

"Uh," Craig frowned, "wasn't Hazel and Paige suppose to meeting us out here?"

"We're right here idiot."

Indeed, both females were standing behind them, arms crossed and identical expressions of irritation fixed on their faces. The blonde girl jabbed Spinner in the shoulder, " _You_ were suppose to meet us inside. Come on, let's get the party supplies before all the teachers lock up." Paige flipped her hair aside and began marching up to the school.

Craig made a noise under his breath that sounded distinctly like a whip. As Spinner proceeded to wrestle him, Marco followed the girls inside.

He separated from them once in and ended up wandering around the empty hallways. It was creepy, the only sound he could hear was the padding that his sneakers made on the tiled floor. It felt…surreal. Marco shuffled over to one of the lockers, it drew him to it like a magnetic. He observed the rusting sides and saw something unique.

Carved thinly in the metal space between the locker and another was two names connected by a heart: _Ellie hearts Marco_.

His heart was suddenly wrenched.

Marco had forgotten that it was her old locker in Grade 10, the time when they were dating. He missed her. Exhaling, Marco forlornly touched the words engraved by her slim fingers. "Dude, there you are. Move your ass unless you wanna stay here all day." He turned around to Spinner who was giving a pretty good Paige impersonation. They walked out of the school and met back with Craig who was holding a box of streamers. Spinner added, turning on the engine of his car, "Let's get a move on, I've got to go to Paige's around five."

They climbed into Spinner's car "the Love-Mobile" and Marco was dropped off at his house. At the first sight of his home, something about it felt strange. His Mother's minivan was parked in the driveway. What was odd about this was that Mrs. Del Rossi was never home around the hours of one and two in the afternoon. Ever.

He stepped through the front door and called out uneasily, slipping off his bag, "Ma?" She walked out into the hallway with a smile on her plump face. He asked, a little unnerved, "Momma, what's going on?"

Before she could answer, a guest found their way down the staircase. Bright red hair framed a flushed face, and eyes watched him round with lots of black eyeliner.

Marco stared astonished at the smirking Ellie Nash who stood erect and proud in front of him. His eyes lingered on her bare arms where many of her once scars were invisible and healed. She clasped her hands together, her voice came out in a little whisper, "I'm okay now. I really am."

He couldn't believe it. After spending nearly two years in a hospital and under the care of a 'help centre' because of her cutting... here she was, standing in his house. Marco opened up his arms when she did and they fell into each other's arms, hugging tightly.

Ellie's face crumpled as if she was going to start crying.

"Oh god, it's so good to see you."

He murmured against her shoulder, "I'm missed you so much, Ell. What's going on? How did you get here?"

Mrs. Del Rossi wrapped a comforting arm on Ellie's shoulder. "Eleanor has asked to stay at out home until her social worker can find her another home to stay with. I have agreed to the arrangement just as long as you were fine with it, darling."

He smiled, saying, "Of course," but was looking at his best friend when he said it. Ellie wiped off a smudge a mascara on her cheek sheepishly and Marco turned to his mother, "Ma, there's a before-graduation bash tonight. Would it be alright-?" Mrs. Del Rossi kissed his cheek.

"Yes, you may go. Just come home before two."

He kissed her cheek back and asked Ellie, "Would you like to come, Ell? It's a party at Jimmy's. I know it's only for seniors but Sean might crash-"

Her green-brown eyes perked up

"What are we waiting for? Let's get ready," she declared, sprinting upstairs to change.

Marco followed her, hiding a smile as he consulted her on what was appropriate to wear.

To Ellie's liking (and Marco's sanity), they choose for her a small, ripped-material black dress and choker necklace. He wore a dark shirt and pants with one of his favorite hats atop his straightened hairstyle. Ellie watched him examine himself in the full length mirror and found herself comparing his present self and what she remembered long back.

He had grown a few inches, definitely taller than her, and seemed a bit more confident in his own skin in a matter of speaking. When Marco turned around, he strike a poise and inquired devilishly, "How do I look?"

Ellie laughed, telling him, "If I was a lesbian, that look would have turned me straight," and flashed a noticeable wink.

Marco blushed a moment then tipped his head. "Thanks, Ellie."

She smiled tenderly at him. He was exactly like the brother  she never had in her life. And she was grateful for him, grateful to be back and seeing his caring face again. Marco saw a mist of tears in her eyes and hooked his arm through hers, asking worried, "Are you okay?"

Ellie nodded firmly. "Yeah, let's go have fun," she said.

 

*


	2. Chapter Two

*

 

They took the nighttime bus to Jimmy's street and made their way up to the apartment by elevator. On the way there, Marco had updated Ellie about what had been going on around Degrassi the past two years: the Media Immersion's teacher Mr. Simpson was getting better everyday; someone had broken into the Kerwin's house a year and a half ago; Liberty Van Zant and Heather Sinclair left the school for separate reasons; and the band 'Downtown Sasquach' was working on getting a record deal.

When they arrived at the door, it was being blocked a couple making out. As the guy starting hiking up the girl's skirt, Ellie cleared her throat, saying sarcastically, "Oh, don't mind us. We're just passing through. Please continue groping each other senseless." They shot her dirty looks and let them pass. Marco smirked.

"Nice, Ellie."

She crossed her arms, looking like her old-self. "Someone had to say something."

Jimmy Brooks and Hazel Aden came up to them through the multitude of party-goers. The tall basketball player draped an arm around his date. "Hey, Marco, glad you could come. And who is this vision of loveliness beside you?" He winked at Ellie who mocked curtsying.

"You're too kind, James."

Hazel grinned at her, touching her shoulder, "Hey, good to see you, Miss Nash. Haven't seen you in ages. You came back to Degrassi to finish up the year?" The redhead shook her head.

"I finished my last year already. I'm actually ahead of everyone else."

As the girls continued to chat, Marco asked the other boy, "Jim, I thought only seniors were invited to this party?" The taller boy shrugged, scanning the mass.

"I guess news spread around."

Jimmy turned to Hazel and took her hand, kissing her knuckles, "Care to dance?" She giggled, leading him out to the dance floor as a fast song pounded through the expensive speakers. Marco glanced at Ellie who gave him a look of ' _After you_ '. They wedged through the dancing mob, shaking some ass to put it bluntly. When he danced behind her, moving hips to the beat, hands on her waist, he was looking around the party.

When the song ended, both teenagers were breathing hard and Ellie had excused herself to go see if she could find Ashley or Sean. Marco got a drink of water from the fridge and saw Spinner stumble into the kitchen with a cardboard box. He yelled, "Booze!" and lots of people scrambled over for bottles.

The blond pulled out one and held it out to Marco, "Want one?"

"Ah, no thanks Spin. I don't drink."

Spinner frowned, muttering, "Your loss," and chugged it down.

Leaving the now buzzed boy, Marco pushed through the packed family room to find Ellie seated over by a bar table. He plopped down beside her and offered her his drink of water. She took a few sips and said loudly over the music, "I don't see anyone I know here!" Marco agreed.

Minus Spinner, Hazel, Jimmy, and Paige who was somewhere in the mob... the members of the party seemed way older. His eyes flickered over to a living room corner, his sight settling on a familiar figure slightly shrouded by other male occupants. He could make out big white teeth, golden curls, and a strong chin.

Marco felt the strange sensation cover his stomach area, an emotion he couldn't describe properly. His blood felt heated, rushing around his body.

Just as he was considering going over to introduce himself to the concealed boy, the cloudless blue skies of eyes revealed themselves. Marco's stomach turned from excited jelly to tight nauseated knots. In his head played a escalating recollection.

_Dylan. His Dylan in the arms of another guy. His lips being crushed by lips other than his own. That sweet little voice of Dylan's that spilled out lies._

Marco was sucked out of the memory as Ellie shook his arm. "Marco, hello? What are you staring at?"

He twisted to her slowly, finding that his words were choked in his throat, "He's here."

"Who?" Before the boy could reply, she tilted her head to the side and peered across the way. Realization filled her eyes and she inquired, "You still haven't made up with him?"

His voice came out frosty, "...I do not want to talk about it."

Ellie knew that she was treading on thin ice and reached out, clasping a supportive hand over his knee. As if it was an tempting pull, Marco looked back and met wandering eyes of blue now on him. Driven by many negative feelings, he placed a hand over Ellie's that remained unmoving on his knee. His hand traveled up her arm, gently tickling her skin. Marco got the response he wanted. She avoided his eyes shyly. Now it was time for the checkmate. 

"Ellie, you're so beautiful tonight. It's crazy that guys here aren't all over you."

She fell under his charms instantly, blushing, "Marco, that's really sweet but I'm not that attractive." He moved closer, wrapping an arm around her.

"You are, you just can't see it." Marco held her chin with his free hand and let a finger brush against her lower lip. Then made sure Dylan Michalchuk was watching. He was. Ellie finally noticed what was going on and looked at him disgusted, losing all traces of being happy.

"...you _asshole_."

Er, that's a... no checkmate.

She pulled herself away and stormed across the room, barreling out of the event. The teenager realized the damage he just caused and buried his face into his hands, completely ashamed of himself for sinking this low. After a few moments of gathering his thoughts and coming up with an apology, Marco left the rowdy celebration and made it to the bus stop where his best girl-friend sat alone on a bench. When she looked up to him, a look of loathing passed on her young face.

He said immediately, "I'm sorry, Ellie. I'm a moron. I shouldn't have done that to you of all people. I'm really really sorry."

She frowned angrily.

"Friends don't manipulate each other for petty things like that. That hurt, Marco."

"I wasn't thinking. Revenge was the only thing in my head, it just… I felt the pain again."

She stiffly made room on the bench, as he sat down. Ellie said, not looking at him, "I'll need time tonight to think." Marco nodded quickly and the bus arrived. The trip home wasn't the most comfortable time for either of them. When they made it to the block, Marco saw his mother's car resting in the driveway but two other cars were there as well.

One was a cop car and the other was his Father's van. His breathing hitched and Ellie heard it. She spun around and saw through the light of the streetlamp, she could see him pale. "What is it now Marco?"

He started to walk away from the curb into the street and Ellie saw the truck coming around the corner, heading in his direction.

She yanked him out of the road just as it came speeding past them. The driver flipped them off. Ellie returned the favor and practically yelled at the boy, "What the _fuck_ did you think you were doing? Are you _trying_ to kill yourself?"

Marco snapped out of his trance and shook his head once before staring at his house in a mixture of fear and horror. She followed his eyes and narrowed hers curiously, walking ahead. He proceeded after automatically and they stride into the Del Rossi home. As soon as they entered, the police officer known as Jennings greeted them, "Hello Marco. Will you please step into the hall with me?"

He glanced at Ellie who went with him, she made a indication to show she wasn't going to leave him. 

The officer said slowly, "Marco, I know that this might be hard for you to understand, but the police department has let your father go. After spending some time in the rehabilitation center and seeing a psychiatrist... we can't find any other reason to hold him. He's has been seeing your Mother, but I've had a talk with them about the seriousness of their decision." He was confused.

"What decision?"

"Your Father has decided to stay here, but only temporarily to see what happens. Your parents will give you the details."

She handed the teenage boy a piece of paper with a phone number.

"If anything goes wrong... don't hesitate to call me, okay? I want you to know that I would never want to put you in any danger. If I seriously thought your Father would hurt you, I wouldn't let him stay. You're safe, Marco." Officer Jennings gave his shoulder a squeeze and left through the front door. The door shut with a concluding click.

Ellie had been watching Marco's reaction the entire time. His face read nothing but his eyes screamed ' _This is not happening to me_.' 

Mrs. Del Rossi called his name from the other room and he went out to the living room where his parents stood and held hands. Marco cautiously eyed his Father, who had an almost-too big smile on his face. The man one-arm hugged him. "Marco, your Momma has some news for you." Mrs. Del Rossi beamed brightly.

"My son, your Papa and I are pregnant. You will have a brother or sister."

She was nearly bursting with excitement and Marco had no idea what to say. He didn't speak at first. And then he smiled strained and gently hugged his Mom.

"I'm glad, Ma." When Marco set his chin on her shoulder, the smile was wiped clean off his face.

Ellie could only poise to observe, and even she did not notice the bizarre glint in Mr. Del Rossi's eyes.

 

*


	3. Chapter Three

*

 

Around six in the next morning, Marco and Ellie were both wide awake and standing in his bedroom. The air around them was very jarring but they didn't notice it. He said aloud bitterly, "I can't believe my Ma let _him_ into our house _and_ was insane enough to let herself get pregnant. Is she crazy?" Ellie shrugged, looking down at her big black chunky boots.

"The police did say he was better-"

Marco interrupted, his voice raising, "No! People don't just change in a few years, Ell... people like that just don't change!"

He turned away from her and heard her voice say softly but warningly, "People like _what_ , Marco... people like me, too?"

She crossed her arms rigidly and he said quickly, "Wait, I didn't mean-"

Her tone was sharp, "Well you did. Maybe your Dad did change and you're too close-minded to see it. Maybe he is better and you can't help but keep thinking that everyone's out to get you. Yeah, some people can't make amends but others can." Somehow, Ellie wasn't talking about anyone else or Mr. Del Rossi. Marco thought that she was directing it to herself.

He said coldly, "No. He will always be the same."

"Maybe. But I can change." Her eyes hardened, and he felt himself wincing outwardly. She sat down on his bed, muttering, "Whatever." He joined her. Ellie changed the subject. "You haven't talk to Dylan after all this time?" she asked.

"And why the hell would I go and do that?"

"Because he's your boyfriend."

He retorted, " _Ex-boyfriend_ , and I'm not speaking to him because he's a two-timing liar who enjoys ripping your heart out and spitting all over it."

Ellie Nash merely stared at him, like she didn't even know who he was.

"You really are an idiot, Marco Del Rossi. I don't know what's going on in that head of yours but you definitely have it all wrong. Dylan _loves_ you, and probably still does. I wasn't supposed to tell you this but I had a talk with him the day after you got beat up near the Gay Village. We both needed to about your future and I told him what happened at the park, not all of it because I wanted _you_ to say something. He did most of the talking, ranted on and on about you for hours. I could tell he was infatuated with you before he even knew you like I did. Even though jealousy was really ticking me off, I saw he could give you the happiness I couldn't. Now, you both are acting like morons of this stupid misunderstanding!"

Marco shook his head stubbornly.

"Then why did he betray me? He'd do the same thing again because when something like this happens, that person would do it again regardless."

"When you used me to make Dylan jealous, I forgave you and knew that you wouldn't pull that again because I trusted you. If I came around to your way of thinking, I couldn't trust you because you would pull something like that over again."

He said challengingly, "That's different, Ellie!"

"No, it isn't!" she shouted back.

"Yes!"

"NO!"

"YES, AND YOU KNOW IT!"

" _NO, IT GODDAMN ISN'T_!"

Soon, they were screaming at the top of their lungs at each other and Mrs. Del Rossi's voice drifted through the crack in the bedroom door, "Kids, what's going on?"

Marco let out an unsteady breath and tried to hide the rawness in his throat, "Nothing Ma, it's the TV." His Mother didn't bother them further and the teenagers became silent.

"It hasn't even been a day since you came to live here and we're already at each other's throats."

Ellie couldn't help but let a slip of a smile reveal itself.

He gave up, apologizing, "I'm sorry for making it sound like I don't think you recovered, I think I do... because I want you to be." Marco took one of her hands, resting it between both of his. "And I'm sorry about the party. There's no excuse for what I did." She nodded.

"You're right, you should be. I'm sorry for prying into your problems with Dylan. I just want you to be happy."

"I couldn't ask for a better friend, Ellie Nash."

Ellie's face beamed at him and she looked out the window. The sky was becoming a soft pink. "Hey, I was going to go to Sean's to say hi. Do you want to come along?"

"Might as well, I'm not going to get any sleep anyway." They changed into some suitable outer clothes and stepped into the cool morning. Down several blocks was Sean's small knocked on the door and messed with her bright red hair as they stood waiting for someone to answer.

"Argh, I'm acting like Paige."

Marco snorted and the front screen door was opened by none other than… _Craig?_ The tall brunet squinted his drowsy eyes. "Wh-What are you doing here?"

Ellie commented, "I'm Sean's girlfriend and I invited Marco to come with me. What are you doing here?" They walked in when Sean appeared and Craig stifled a yawn.

"I slept over…here. Got into a fight with Joey again."

"Oh gee, Craig, and I thought I had some competition."

Sean snickered and Craig made a face. " _Gah_... NO!" He then glanced at Marco apologetically. "Sorry man, I'm not into that sort of thing."

Marco patted his shoulder and Ellie turned to Sean. "I've missed you."

He pulled her into a snug embrace, "Same here, Nash," and leaned in for a kiss. After a minute or so of the other boys ignoring their welcome-back-session, everyone sat down in the family room.

Craig asked Ellie, across the room, "So, where are you living?"

"Marco's, um, for a little while."

Sean said to her with a frown, "You could stayed with me."

"It was already arranged."

Craig questioned, "Uh, where's your Mom?"

Marco and Sean keep their mouths shut and Ellie straightened up, saying, "Everyone already knows about how she's in rehab because of her drinking, but after spending my time in the hospital, my social worker got her to disown me. My Mom lives with her brother in Washington. She's only allowed to see me once every five months. She hasn't visit me. I really don't care. I'm glad to be away."

When she finished, Sean wrapped his arms around her waist and she laid her head down on his chest, sighing. A silence passed and Craig exclaimed, "Oh." Marco stepped in.

"Where were you guys last night?" Sean and Craig exchanged confused looks, Marco added, "Jimmy's party?"

Craig blurted out, eyes widening, "I thought it was tonight. Shit, is Jim mad?"

"No, there was plenty of other people that weren't seniors."

"Well, who did you see?"

Ellie pointedly looked at Marco as he murmured, "...No one I wanted to see." She mouthed to the rest of them: _Dylan Michalchuk._

Sean had a similar question to Ellie's. "You aren't seeing him anymore?" Marco shook his head and Craig tried to cheer him up.

"Think of it like this, once we graduate you'll probably never see him again."

Ellie whispered solemnly, "Yeah, Craig's right."

Marco echoed as conversation stirred around him, " _...Yeah, Craig's right_."

 

*


	4. Chapter Four

*

 

_Blood. Ruby gore._

_Everywhere, it pooled around the tiles in his kitchen. It seeped through the crack in the doorway nearby, the dark red stained the bottoms of his sneakers._

_His breath echoed in his head as his nerves became paralyzed with dread._

_He was frozen to the spot where he stood and heard a small cry coming from the next room._

_The door close to him flew open and his Mother materialized from the black of the other room, her medium--ength hair tied up in a loose bun and her warm round face was smiling._

_He gained control of himself when she threw her meaty arms around him and hugged him, smelling distantly of sugar cookies and cinnamon._

_He hugged her back and her tinkling voice said breathily in his ear, "I'd never hurt you, Marco. I love you."_

_Suddenly, cold metal slid into his stomach._

_He looked down at himself and saw a sliver of the blade of a wooden handled knife jutting from his abdomen. There was a drizzling going down his stomach, oozing onto his blue designer shirt he wore._

_His Mother was no longer there and Dylan had taken her place when the metal had gone into him. He smiled in sickeningly pleased way and pulled the knife out of the younger boy; pain inflamed his senses. He doubled over, gasping for his fading breath as the blond let out a small laugh._

_Everywhere, everything was red. Red._

_Red._

 

 

Marco awoke in his bed screaming. He instinctively clutched his stomach and threw away his blankets, checking himself over.

Nothing, he was fine.

The sunbeams of a new day blinded him fleetingly as the teenager tried to calm his racing heartbeat. My God, that dream, no, _nightmare_ …

Marco curled upright into a ball against his headboard, squeezing his eyes shut. He remembered when dreams like this were somehow sucked into his reality. What did it mean, was his Ma going to betray him in someway? Why was Dylan there and why did he…?

Rocking back and forth, he tried to drone out his thoughts by concentrating on the sounds of the birds outside his window and the ticking of his clock.

Wait what time was it?

Marco reopened his eyes and reach to turn his clock towards him, it was twelve in the afternoon.

He was late to pick up his graduation robe!

The boy raced out of his room, only in his boxer shorts and stumbled downstairs. He came into the kitchen, "Mama, I need a ride-"

The sight that met him was Ellie, shuffling through her newspaper alone. She said without looking at him, "Hey, Marco. Your mom went to the doctor's office and your dad left with her. I went and got the robes from school. Jimmy told me that right after the ceremony, we'll head to the party. It's being held at Ashley's instead, just to tell you."

She placed down the paper. "I heard some noise upstairs, are you ok?" Her hazel eyes flickered over to him and he responded, feeling strangely chilly, "Uh, only a bad dream."

Her cheeks went bright red and she shielded her eyes.

"Marco…you might want to get some pants on…?"

He frowned confused and looked down at his half naked form, blushing, "Oh, sorry."

Marco darted out humiliated as she burst out laughing.

 

*

 

There was a soaring feeling in his stomach.

Marco Del Rossi dashed down the front steps of Degrassi in his graduation robe, meeting his best friend at the bottom. She had been wearing a robe for the fun of it even though she already had her diploma.

He swept Ellie Nash into an embrace, spinning her around merrily. Both seventeen-year-olds laughed and hugged tightly, big broad smiles on their faces. They were on their way to the four-year college around Degrassi.

Marco shouted, "We did it! We're outta here!"

Ellie had caught the contagious enthusiasm and pumped a fist in the air, "College, here we come! Whoo!" She grinned, squeezing him once.

Her red hair flew around in his face as the blustery day moved on.

"Your valediction speech was awesome, Marco. I almost cried."

"You better have, I didn't practice for four hours in front of a mirror for nothing." Ellie chuckled and Marco's parents walked over, smiling very wide. Mrs. Del Rossi was sobbing with happiness and pulled both kids to her bosom, heaving.

"I'm so proud, Marco. I am proud of you too, Eleanor." The girl hugged her back, "Thank you Mrs. Del Rossi."

Mr. Del Rossi nodded eagerly. "Yes, yes, we are very proud." He stick out his hand to them and Marco eyed it as if it was a poisonous snake, Ellie took it politely. After, she elbowed him sharply and his Mother spoke up, "Ok, you can go to the party. Go home and change."

Marco  kissed her cheek and started walking away with his best friend.

It was early evening when they finished getting ready.

Marco went to Ellie's bedroom and knocked on the door, "Come on, it's a fifteen minute drive to Ashley's. Are you ready?"

"Yeah, yeah."

He backed away from the door as it swung open. At first Marco didn't know who was standing right in front of him. Eyes gently lined with silver and black, head of tousled red, and a form covered in a dark blue shirt and tight forming jeans.

He shook his head a few times and coughed, "Ellie?"

She looked down insecurely, "Too much? I just…wanted to look nicer for tonight."

The teenage boy grabbed her arm, saying sincerely, "You look hot. I mean it."

Pink flush traveled up her neck. "I feel silly."

"But you look _gorgeous_ , Sean won't know what hit him."

Ellie shrugged. "But he thinks I'm pretty when I'm not trying to impress him." Marco frowned.

"If he likes you, then he should think you're pretty nonetheless."

Suddenly, she smiled and breathed, "Yeah. Thanks." The girl joined in step with him as they walked down the stairs, Marco's parents passed by in the hallway from their dinner out. Marco's mom grinned.

"You both have fun. Be home before it gets too late, Marco, you have your cell phone?"

He raised it up and looked out from the corner of his eyes to see his Dad eyeing Ellie, in his opinion, in a very negative way. Her best friend wrapped an protective arm around her bare shoulders and led her away, glaring and she never saw it.

As they went out to the bus stop, Ellie complained, "Your hand is freezing."

He removed his arm and they rode to Ashley's home. They rang the bell and Ashley answered, wearing a green dress that reminded Marco of something she'd wear around Grade 9.

" _Ellie_? My God….what has Marco done to you?"

The other girl made a face. "That's all you can say to me when you first see me after two years? 'What has Marco done to you?'"

Ashley let out a sigh. "No…I didn't know what to say at first. I just…can't believe you're here."

The redhead pretended to look offend and Marco greeted the hostess, she said her hello back.

"Jimmy and Craig are in the back, if you wanted to say hi," she insisted, giving out a clear sign that she wanted to catch up with her best girl-friend. As he walked away, he heard Ellie say, "Just for the record, I made this change and it's only for the party."

Marco saw the other seniors dance to the music and looked around for his friend's faces. He found them talking in a wide group, he joined them happily.

After some time, Ellie and Ashley came to bond with them, reminiscing about old times.

He was sitting across from everyone else and reached behind the couch, pulling out a cardboard box. Ellie eyed it, she had seen him take it with him from the house and her best friend settled his eyes on green eyes.

Marco looked at Paige. "You got it?" he asked.

She got up silently and reached behind her chair, pulling out a small box of assorted knickknacks. Ellie watched as he exchanged his box with hers. The redhead asked befuddled, "I thought that was something for the party…?"

He said coolly, "Actually, it's Dylan's stuff, Paige is giving me mine back. It's a simpler way than meeting with him face-to-face."

Paige replied quietly, "I think you're making a huge mistake, Marco."

"It might as well be asking you and Dean to be together."

Everyone's eyes widened widened with shock and Ellie was itching to smack him upside his head. 

Marco shook his head regretfully. "I'm sorry, Paige." He began walking away and Ellie grabbed his arm, pulling him back.

"And I thought Spinner was the insensitive jerk," she said, sarcastically.

"Not now Ellie," Marco said as he yanked his arm out of her grasp and made his way out of her sight. Marco was sick of it, being pitied, being taunted by _his_ memory and those stupid nightmares, being the only one who was miserable. The teenage boy pushed his way into the kitchen where several people including Spinner were drinking.

With shocked looks from them, Marco picked up a brown bottle and started chugging it down, without a regret in his mind. He had never had a beer before in his life and at the moment didn't care if his brain got fried from it.

The alcohol hit his system and his vision grew a little blurry, Spinner was patting him on the back, congratulating him on finally loosening up.

Meanwhile, Ellie was involved in conversation about Marco. Jimmy shook his head. "Ever since he stopped seeing Dylan…he got so out of it."

Hazel commented, "You noticed that too?" Paige looked sour.

"Not just him, Dylan's not exactly acting sane since their ridiculous breakup, which I still don't understand."

"Both of them thought the other was cheating on him," Elie said, "the only way for them to make up is if they talk."

" _Duh_ , Ellie, the problem is they refuse to find the balls to do it." A heated argument between them was interrupted by the shouting of drunken boys.

Spinner just finished guzzling down a whole barrel and his girlfriend rolled her eyes, muttering something about breaking up with him the evening before. What shocked them all was a small dark-haired boy stumbling from the kitchen, grasping a bottle in his right hand.

Ellie was the first to get up, Marco threw his arms over her sluggishly. "Oh Ellie, you're my best friend…so cool…"

His words were slurred and in the process, the bottle fell to the floor and the liquid spilled onto the carpet.

He got down onto all fours and was prepared to lick it when the redhead pulled him up by the collar and demanded shrilly, "Are you _drunk?_ "

Some people around them was sniggering and she waved a fist threatening, and they got quiet.

No one messed with the infamous Ellie Nash.

With the help of Craig, she heaved him to his feet and Marco's glazed eyes met the taller boy's. "Hey Craig, what's going on? I thought Ellie was dating Sean, not you."

Ellie explained simply, "He's drunk," and led the smaller boy to the bathroom for some privacy. By the time Ellie shut the door, Marco was in tears and ranting nonsense.

He howled, "-S-stupid neighborhood dog, it nearly took my leg my off! But no, that _donna stupida_ said it wouldn't hurt a fly…and said my leg was scraped! And…and Dylan treats me like garbage," he sniffed pathetically, "He was gonna be my first."

Ellie cradled his head against her chest and cooed, " _Shh_ …you're not garbage…calm down…"

Soon, the tears were gone and Ellie was dimly reminded of raindrops, but didn't really know why. She unlocked the bathroom door and led him out, telling Ashley that they were leaving. Ellie kept a firm arm on her best friend on the journey home and even managed to keep Mr. and Mrs. Del Rossi from knowing that their son was intoxicated(though it was quite a challenge). He was still blathering on about his childhood trauma.

When morning rolled around, Marco was found in his own bathroom, hungover and retching into the toilet loudly. Fortunately, it couldn't be heard outside the bathroom and Ellie, changed back to her normal garments, was beside him like the loving person she was, most of the time.

She rubbed his back soothingly and whispered comforting words in his ear, letting him take his time.

When he finished and could take gulps of fresh air, she sat down with him on the tiled floor. Ellie smoothed his bangs out of his face and said in a motherly tone, "Feeling better?"

Marco nodded, being honest and she declared, "Good, now I can do this without any regrets."

Bewilderment shone on his face and the girl smacked his head roughly, despite his slight pounding headache.

He shouted, " _Fuck_!"

She said, losing all traces of being gentle, "Why did you do that, you completely embarrassed me last night! You could have done something to hurt yourself! What on Earth made you drink?"

He rubbed his sore head. "I dunno…I was upset."

Her eyes darkened and Marco looked away from them.

"Marco."

He didn't meet them.

" _Marco_ , look at me. Now."

Reluctantly, he did and was surprised to see Ellie frowning.

"Promise you won't do that again."

Marco said fervently, "Trust me, that had to be the stupidest thing I've ever done."

An eyebrow was raised to his response.

 

*


	5. Chapter Five

*

 

Dylan felt like shit. His head was pounding from the last night's hockey accident. That rookie McDon sent the puck right into his skull, leaving him a hell of a contusion on the side of his head. The college boy was sent packing for the day and spent the rest of the night listening to his roommates and their loud techno music. Right now, he could do with Tylenol and an extra soft pillow for the throbbing.

But he needed to get up. His baby sister was coming to his college and she needed some help unpacking into her dorm. At times Dylan wondered why he didn't go to that other college in Toronto.

...Oh yeah, he remembered why: Marco.

Even his name still gave him shivers... _stupid_ , he's probably here too. But that was before they… 'broke up'.

Dylan got up out of bed, pulling on some jeans, and went across campus, easily spotting her blonde head out of the crowd of freshman. Her high-pitched voice also helped. She threw her arms around him, squeezing him tightly despite his tired body. " _Dylan_ , finally, you're here! I really need some help getting my trunks up onto the third floor." Five giant trunks stood on the sidewalk to greet him.

Internally, he screamed.

Not too far away, Marco was dropped off at the college and stared up at it anxiously. He dragged his stuff through the mob of freshman, sophomores, and other grades, up the many stairs, got lost and asked a smoking teacher directions, which naturally wasn't helpful. Marco was a bit nervous to meet his roommates. He didn't know if they were taking his classes or if they were remotely friendly.

 _'Should have went to that orientation'_ thought Marco bitterly.

He at last found **Door B9** and threw it open, heaving his things in. Standing in the large dorm was the two people Marco least expected to see.

Spinner laughed. "Holy shit, look who it is, Jim!"

Jimmy Brooks grinned.

"Good, we won't get some weird junior who smokes dope at three in the morning."

Marco burrowed his brows.

"They do that?" he asked.

"There's a lot of things college people do at three in the morning," Jimmy answered back as he helped Marco set his things by his bunk bed. He saw the bunk bed the two other boys would be sleeping in and frowned at the absence of the person who would sleep at his top bunk.

"Who else is suppose to be here?"

A knock on the door was his response. Spinner said to Marco as Jimmy went to open it, "It can't be Craig. He's staying in Number 15."

Standing in the doorway with his bags was… Tom.

Marco gaped as the junior hustled in, placing his bag on the upper bed and mumbled, "I'm not staying," going out the door as fast as he came in. Marco buried his face into his hands, murmuring, "Oh lord, this is just what I need."

Spinner practically yelled, "We have to live with that homo?" Jimmy shot him an angry look and Marco peeked through his fingers to fix a sarcastic _duh_ on his face. Spinner simpered.

"That probably means… _he's_ _here_ …"

Spinner opened his mouth, "What, Dylan?"

At the mention of the hockey player's name, Marco groaned and Jimmy made a cutting motion with his finger on his throat before placed a hand on the boy's shoulder. "It's alright. Just because Tom is here doesn't mean _he's_ here. It looks like he doesn't stay long so I think it takes care of your only worry."

Marco didn't remove his face from his hands and Spinner got up. Jimmy asked, "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to go check out the senior babes, _Mom._ That OKAY with you?"

Jimmy rolled his eyes as the blond left and he said to Marco, "I'm going to go find Hazel. Are you going to be alright?"

The shorter boy muttered, "I'm not a baby, Jim. I can be left alone in the room." He heard his footsteps go out into the hallway and Marco decisively looked up.

After a moment or so, he went exploring the campus. It was comfortably large with lots of computer rooms and a library, hundreds of classrooms and dorms, a laundry room, several open and private hang out quarters with glass doors, one large mess hall inside, and a small one with benches and umbrellas outside. The grounds were open with a forest background. Marco found that certain areas were more crowded than others, and recognized some of the older faces. His scheduled classes went by relatively fast and he didn't really know anyone in them. He kind of got the feeling that a few of the older students in the honors classes were giving him glares. The professors were much different from Degrassi and Marco discovered himself missing high school like a heartache.

To his immense relief, Craig was down at the inside mess hall around the time Marco was finished for the day. He plopped down and sighed, "You have no idea how happy I am to see you."

The taller boy chewed on his hamburger. "Bad day?"

"Not really… okay, it sucked."

Craig got up, frowning. "Sorry to leave you but Ashley wants to meet up with me. I'll see you around." Marco watched him gather his guitar case and threw up his hands, forgetting about dinner and deciding to storm down to his dorm. He spent the next few hours of the evening study his enormous textbooks.

In came Spinner around ten, groggy and decidedly drunk off his ass. Marco looked up through his reading glasses and saw him pull out a cigarette, lighting it up. He protested, "Spin, not in here!" The blond took in a drag and coughed hoarsely. Marco added grumpily, "I don't want this place smelling like smoke."

The blond said exasperated, "God… you're so _gay_ …" and stumbled right back out. Marco rolled his eyes. He wondered how the hell Spinner even got into _college_.

Marco slammed his book closed, rolling over on his bed, and burrowing himself into the covers. This was going to be a long year.

 

*


	6. Chapter Six

*

 

The semester continued to pass on and the younger kids were slowly getting adjusted into the life of being a college freshman. Some were successful, others…weren't. Marco was sleep-deprived, not eating, and feeling sick. The most serious situation was when he overslept one Friday, Jimmy found him unconscious in a feverish sleep at five in the afternoon. The campus paramedics took him down to the nurse's office. He remained there until he got himself at a reasonable temperature.

The woman in a green uniform clicked her tongue. "Honey, you're 20 pounds underweight. You've came in here more times than the seniors who fake the flu first semester."

"I'm already skinny. How can I be losing weight?"

Her sharp gray eyes observed him.

"Have you been eating?" Flush ran up his face and she said strictly, "It's normal for the college freshman to get stressed but if this continues you may land yourself in the hospital."

Marco paled. _Hospital?_

Her attention was distracted by someone coming in and she busied herself with a person with a bleeding arm. The nurse scowled. "What did you injure this time, McDon?" Marco looked over to a much older male with chocolate brown eyes and a crew cut; his face was nice-looking though. He let her bandage it up, flashing a smirk.

"Just a cut arm. Sorry, Ms. Kee, but you know I can't resist your charms. You have the magic hands."

A smile inched up her face as she rummaged through a cabinet and handed Marco a bottle.

"Take these vitamins, once a day, and I don't want to see you back here unless there's a missing body part." He didn't miss the catch of humor in her voice and he grinned.

"Promise."

As he got up to exit the door, Marco heard McDon mutter, "That guy Michalchuk's got a hell of a swing. I got him pretty good in the head last time."

Marco's heart nearly stopped.

He went sprinting out the door, not stopping for anything. He finally did stop in the Northern side, gasping for breath and collapsing onto a patch of grass outside. Marco sat under a tree, watching a couple pass by and a teacher with an armful of books, trying to remain invisible as realization soaked into him. He was here. Dylan was _here_ of all places. Why wasn't he in Toronto?

_Because of you, because you wanted him to close to you…before._

Marco felt the mild tickling of tears threatening to spill and he had no trouble pushing them away. He didn't know exactly why he was upset. This moving-on thing would be working a lot better if fate wasn't so cruel to him all the time. Marco took a vitamin pill and ran his fingers through his curly mass of hair (if he didn't iron it perfectly straight it would poof into messy ringlets). He didn't have the time anymore. Thankful that there was no classes left in the day, he sat where he was for a while.

Evening rolled around and it got too dark to stay where he was. Marco stood up and began walking down the cement sidewalk, his footsteps padding softly. A twig broke.

His head jerked around, shadows stretched from the other side of the campus to the forest area where most of the trees grew wild. Marco hesitated a moment then started walking faster.

Another twig snapped.

Was that the sound of sneakers thudding on the ground? Was someone running? Panic overtook his senses. This was all too familiar to him. The night sky, the shadows, the fact he was alone…

Someone grabbed him by the shoulders and a scream torn from Marco's throat as he whipped around. Craig held up his hands.

" _Whoa_! Marco, what the hell? Wake the whole campus, why don't you?"

"Smart idea, Craig, scare the shit out of people by sneaking up on them in the middle of the night!" The shorter boy said in a hysterical shout.

"I'm sorry man, jeez... I didn't mean to freak you out."

Marco said, feeling a little faint, "It's fine… I have a little fear of the dark…" He allowed himself to fall onto the ground numbly, sitting on his bottom, his face was still very pale.

Craig knelt down, asking worried, "Are you okay? You don't look good. Do you want to go to the campus hospital?"

"Been there already. According to the nurse, I'm anorexic."

He nodded, not really comprehending. Marco repeated, " _Anorexic_ , I'm purposely not eating…"

"I know what it means, Marco. I took the same health class you did. I'm confused why you're anorexic."

Marco waved his hand as if to dismiss it.

"Stress. Forget it."

"What were you saying before... you're afraid of the dark?"

Marco looked at his knees then to the black obscenity of the grounds. "More like…what's in it."

His words triggered an grasp in Craig's mind and he spoke up, "Do you want help back?" A moment passed and Marco met his bluish-green eyes.

"I was more thinking along the lines of sneaking out for some late night eating. I need to get my strength back."

A goofy smile spread on the guitarist's face. "Mind if I join?" The other boy smiled back.

"Be my guest."

Craig took his outstretched hand and hauled him up. They took the bus. On their way to a restaurant, they got to talk. Marco had asked him on the bus, "What were you doing out?"

The taller boy shrugged. "Visiting Ashley. Word to the wise, I won't talk to her just yet." The bemused look on his face convinced Craig to go on, "The graduation party. The one you got drunk at. Yeah, she's still mad." Marco went red.

"I'm sorry about that... Ellie mentioned how much of a fool I made of myself. She's never going to let me live it down." Craig didn't say anything and soon they were sitting in the Dot, ordering food. Marco heard his companion asked, "Where are you working now?"

He answered conversationally, "This coffee shop a few streets from the campus. It's called Loca Mocha." Craig snickered. Marco rolled his eyes playfully.

"I know, a coffee shop is the perfect place for the gay college man to work."

"Actually, the name of the place cracks me up. Who the hell came up with that?" Marco shrugged, Craig managed to get his laughter a minimum.

Marco asked, "Where do you work?"

"Out of town," Craig said. "Guitar shop. The manager is just as crazy about music as I am." Their food had arrived. Marco's plate had a tuna sandwich, French fries, and a thick milkshake. Craig, on the other hand, had a hamburger on lettuce and mayo with a soda.

As they chowed down, Marco began to open up to his friend a little more, "Did Jimmy tell you why I was upset?" Craig shook his head, mouth full of meat.

"You were wrong."

He blinked mystified.

"You said after we graduated I'd never see him again. Dylan's here." Craig nearly choked on his lump of food.

"Wh-What? Are you kidding?"

Marco said grimly, "Do I sound like I'm kidding? I forget that he switched to this school. Damn, Craig, what am I supposed to do?"

"Dude, you need to seriously get over him. I know it won't do any good to see him here but if he not in any of your classes or bothering you, I wouldn't worry."

Marco argued loudly, pounding his fist on the table, " _I am over him_!" Marco's sudden anger shocked Craig. He remembered what happened when Marco got angry a few years back. Marco let out a breath, "I swear. I am. It's just…I don't want to be around him." The people around them were staring.

Marco tried to look naïve and a question rang in his ears, "What's it like being gay?" Craig's query startled him at first.

"H-Huh…what?"

Craig's eyes were so serious. It almost freaked him out that the mischievous orbs could be so humorless. "I was just curious," he continued. Marco cleared his throat.

"Uh…well, I'm still trying to figure it all out."

The songwriter placed a hand under his chin. "I never asked before. Would you change if you could?"

"Change?"

Craig nodded thoughtfully. "You know, be straight instead of gay," he said.

Marco frowned. No one had ever asked him that question before.

Come to think of it, he had never thought about the subject…

Before Marco could respond, a cruel voice said from behind him, "Yeah, _fag_ , having second thoughts?" The two boys twisted around to see a gang of familiar boys from Degrassi.

Craig said tensely as they moved over, "Marco, I think we should go."

Marco wasn't paying attention. He was looking at the person standing beside a tattooed man. Jay Hogart. From the rumors, it was said that he dropped out a while ago and had been sent to jail for selling illegal drugs to twelve-year-old crackheads. If it was true, no one really believed that he could be released.

The person beside him laughed. "Scrawny little fag, aren't you? Is that your _boyfriend_ who's with you?" These people were close enough to breathe on. Marco felt a stony expression cover his face and flexed his right hand inattentively. Jay was the only one who noticed this. He grabbed the guy's jacket sleeve.

"No man, we should get outta here."

"What, what's the homo gonna do? Kiss me?"

Jay persisted, "I'm serious Mo… he may look weak but he's fucking crazy." Marco looked into his eyes and saw something that surprised him. Fear. Jay was _scared_ of Marco. Because he had punched him when Jay went too far.

Mo snorted, seeing that the managers were keen to call the cops on them. He led the gangbangers out quickly and Marco watched as they disappeared into the streets.

Craig was gripping his arm tightly.

"Let's get out of here before this gets serious." The other boy agreed, leaving the money for their food and traveling back to the campus. The taller boy ran his hands through his hair, "Man, I thought we were screwed."

Marco shook his head, looking detached. "It isn't over. They'll be back."

"Whatever, I need to get out of here."

Marco hoped Craig wasn't too alarmed by what happened as he watched him leave and managed to pass the campus police without getting caught. Marco knocked on his dorm door and Jimmy answered it, looking blurry eyed in white boxers with bright orange basketballs on them. Marco would have found it comical if he wasn't so tired.

"What were you doing all night?" Marco slipped off his shirt.

"Eating out. Craig came with me. That's about it." He didn't want to tell Jimmy what happened. No one had to know.

Jimmy yawned, sitting on his bed. "You look a lot better. You're not in a coma."

Marco smiled in response.

"Thanks. I'm better." He looked at the top bunk Jimmy shared. Spinner was buried under sheets, snoring loudly. "I'm guessing you aren't getting much sleep either?"

"How can I?" Jimmy complained, "It's like being a room with ten elephants. At least your bunkmate is quiet." He gestured to the empty top bed. "I haven't seen him since the first day, but I can guess that he came in a few times when we weren't around. Stuff on the dresser is moved and I'm pretty sure that those books on his bed weren't there yesterday. Well, night."

Marco laid down on his plaid blanket, hearing Jimmy moving around then becoming silent.

The room vibrated with Spinner's snores…you know, those snores were pretty hypnotic…

 

*


	7. Chapter Seven

*

 

The Christmas holidays were coming soon. The students in the campus were free to go home for about a month or so, surprisingly longer than last time college break rolled around. Ellie was coming to stay at Marco's house later but first she wanted to spend some extra time with her boyfriend. Marco was going on the bus with his piles of homework.

He promised to meet up with his friends whenever he could.

As Marco was going down the sidewalk, tiny flakes of white fell around his face and one landed in his eye. He rubbed it absently and came up the driveway, dragging his heavy backpack behind him. Within his hearing, he heard a earsplitting crash coming from inside his house. Marco dropped his things and rushed to the door, thinking automatically that something was wrong.

Leaving his things in the snow, he flung open the front door and shouted, "Ma!" In the hallway, his mother stood with her vacuum and the pink vase from the hall was on the floor in pieces. Marco went over to her, as she attempted to pick them up despite her six-month belly. He stopped her and asked tightly, "What happened? I heard a crash...?"

Mrs. Del Rossi looked happily embarrassed. "Nothing, my son. Do not look so worried. I had knocked the vase over when I was cleaning. Now, where is my hug, college man?" She embraced him securely and Marco braced himself. He remembered his nightmare, it still burned a hole in his mind. _Knock it off, she's your Ma._

He returned her hug after a moment and asked as he went back out to get his stuff, "Where's Pa?"

"He went to the market to get some food for dinner. Is Eleanor coming?"

"I think she is staying over at Sean's for a while but she told me that she would come back later." She nodded understandingly and he smiled wider, taking both of her hands, "And how is my brother or sister?" His mother patted her large stomach.

"Quite a nuisance... be thankful that you are a man." They laughed and she waddled out of the room. Marco then stared off into space, sighing quietly.

_Children..._

His thoughts were cut off by a knock on their front door. Marco called out, "I'll get it!"

Mr. Del Rossi stood in the doorway with his hands full of groceries. Impulsively, Marco helped and they stepped into the kitchen. As they placing cereal boxes and soup cans away, his father asked, "Marco. How come you have been so quiet?" Dark eyes met particular brown. His son shrugged , busying himself with a carton of eggs. The older man spoke up, "It feels as if you do not trust me."

Marco turned to him and uttered bluntly, "Well, I don't." As he went to get the milk, his dad's brawny hand gripped his arm.

Marco looked up to Mr. Del Rossi expectantly as the man said low, "I do not understand. I apologize for what I had done." The boy remained motionless and looked at his wrist.

"Let me go."

His father obeyed and remarked strangely, patting his son's shoulder gently, "I will find a way." Marco stared after him and rubbed his wrist faintly. The hand that had once struck him was now comforting him. Why was the universe screwing with him? There was another knock on the front door, numbly. Marco went to answer it.

A burst of powdery snow blew in his face as he peered at a figure standing on the doormat.

"Can I help you?" he asked cautiously.

A man with tired green eyes and worn lines on his face asked, "Does Eleanor Nash live here? She's also called Ellie." Marco frowned.

"She's... not here right now."

He said softly, "If she comes back... No, never-mind." The man started walking away but then came back, digging in his pocket and pulling out a piece of crumpled paper, "Do you where this address is?"

Marco looked at it and lied, "No. I don't."

"Okay, thank you," and the man disappeared down the street. Swiftly, Marco grabbed his coat and started racing to Sean's house. He banged on the screen and Ellie's boyfriend appeared behind it, lipstick kisses smeared on his face. Marco barged right on in and shut the door behind him.

"What the hell are you doing?"

He demanded, "Where's Ellie?"

"In the bathroom, what- _Hey_!" Marco marched to the bathroom and knocked. Ellie's voice drifted from behind the door.

"Sean, I'll be out in a second. I swear the makeup isn't permanent."

"Ellie, open up!"

There was silence and his best friend came out, looking bewildered at him, "Marco?"

Sean was cleaning his face with a cloth as he explained, "Some guy came to my house asking for you. He has this address." Sean looked at Ellie, who gave him a innocent look.

"A guy?"

Marco added, "He looked old."

The blond boy gaped at her.

" _Ellie_!"

"Marco, what are you fucking talking about?"

Suddenly, the sound of knuckles rapping on wood came from the entry.

"Shit."

All three of them had spoke at once. Sean took Ellie's hand protectively and went to the door, at the same time pulling out his brother's baseball bat. Marco grasped the door handle, giving Sean a signal. When they opened the door, Sean raised the bat forcefully.

"SEAN, STOP!" It was Ellie who had screamed. Her wide green eyes were staring at the man. "Daddy?"

Both boys gaped and the bat had slipped from Sean's hands onto the floor with a thump.

Mr. Nash enfolded his daughter in his arms. "Oh, Ellie."

Tears ran freely down her face.

"A-Are you really here?"

He smiled, wiping her face, "I am, baby. Oh wow, you're so big." Ellie smiled back, trying to contain her crying. He glanced at the boys. "Hello, I'm sorry to intrude like this. I'm Miles Nash, Ellie's father." Marco couldn't believe his eyes, he saw the resemblance with their green eyes and the shape of their faces. He faced his daughter. "Who are these two boys?"

Ellie touched Marco's shoulder. "This is my best friend, Marco Del Rossi." The man shook his hand firmly.

"We have met previously."

The redhead held Sean's arm. "This is my boyfriend, Sean Cameron."

Mr. Nash suddenly eyed him sternly and Sean gulped audibly, the man's voice came out gruffly, "You taking good care of my little girl, Cameron?"

The normally confident ex-gang banger replied meekly, "Yes, Sir."

It must have been the uniform that intimated him so much. Ellie caught on with what her father was doing. Mr. Nash laughed, "Don't worry, Sean. I'll make sure you do." They laughed.

Sean and Marco just added in weakly.

"Dad, how long are you staying?" Ellie asked, her eyes becoming sad again, "...Do you have to go back?"

The man bent on one knee. "I would have rather discussed this with your Mother first but as it turns out, she's not responsible for you anymore. You're almost eighteen. You'll be an adult. I always promised you that I wouldn't hide any secrets from you." Ellie's lower lip trembled and Marco could see this wasn't going to end well. "...They're putting me back out of the country."

She began crying anew and embraced her father, and he looked a little teary-eyed himself. Marco gazed at Sean who tilted his head to the exit.

They went outside and Marco let a sigh, "Oh boy." The other boy looked shocked.

"Yeah."

They stayed in hush for a few minutes before receiving the word that Ellie would spend the only week he could stay with him.

Marco went home in a terrible emotional state... just when he thought Ellie was going to stay happy...

His mood apparently showed during dinner because his Ma asked, "Marco, is there something wrong?" He looked up to her cheerful glowing eyes to his Father's furtive ones.

"No."

 

*


	8. Chapter Eight

*

 

The snow began falling much heavier the next day.

Marco had spent most of the time finishing up his homework and typing up twenty-page papers on Shakespeare's work and business communication. Anyone would have just slacked off on their work but Marco Del Rossi wasn't an high honor student for nothing. It felt automatic to him, the writing, reading, typing, and getting straight A's.

Soon, there wasn't much to do and he sat in his old room, staring at the beautiful pictures of airbrushed male and female models. He ruffled through old schoolwork seeing A's after A's. It all seemed empty to him now. The only thing that mattered was that he would get a good job. Marco was rummaging through his desk drawer when a corner of a picture caught his eye. With slightly trembling hands, he pulled it out and stared at bright blue eyes.

Dylan in tight red swim shorts, smiling naughty for the camera. It brought an impulse of warmth in him. He threw it back in the drawer and locked it up, placing the key under his bed. Marco changed into some clothes, not caring if they matched and went down the staircase, seeing his father waiting for him at the end.

The man smiled up at him. "Marco, good, you are up?"

"What's going on?" Marco looked around for his mother but didn't see her. His father held up his keys.

"Me and you are going to have some time together... what do they called it, 'father-son bonding.'"

Marco was very hesitated to do anything with him but the man had the keys, he didn't have a choice. Marco came down the final steps and asked blandly, "Where are we going?"

"You shall see."

Both men walked out to the snowy outside world and climbed into Mr. Del Rossi's van. Marco inquired as they backed out of the driveway, "Where's Ma?"

The large man said with a snort, "You ask too many questions, my son. Your Mama has gone to visit a friend."

The van traveled down a few streets then stopped in front of a store. His father got out and Marco just watched him, slowly following. When he stepped in, Marco was in awe. It was the old record store. He remembered it for his childhood, he use to go there to listen to the oldies and danced around while the woman customers and employees cooed on about how cute he was.

While Marco gazed at a juke box, he whispered, "How did you know?"

"I remember me and your Mama use to take you here. You liked it. We took you here every week."

Marco ogled at the old posters, vinyl records, and figurines. He found an very antique oldies record and breathed, "Oh ,wow." His Father turned to the manager and paid for it. As Marco took it in his hands, he said quietly in shock, "You didn't have to, Pa."

"Yes, but it will make you happy. Remember what your Mama use to say about you: 'he will dance into his bones rattle out of his sockets.'" He let out a booming laugh and Marco joined in. Time seem to go by fast as they went to lunch and did other various things Marco enjoyed and his Dad never complained once.

_Maybe… Ellie was right…?_

On their way home, they passed for some coffee, choosing where Marco worked. The bell above the door tinkled as they entered the warm friendly atmosphere. One of Marco's friends approached them, a bubbly little blonde woman wearing a red and blue-striped apron.

She came right over and introduced herself, "Hey, Marco, you sexy thing. How are you?"

He blushed at his nickname. "Hey, Joy. Pa, this is Joy Herman. Joy, this is my Pa."

She shook his hand sweetly. "Nice to meet you, sir. I hope he doesn't have a girlfriend cause my flirting does not seem to be working on him." She winked and Marco wanted at that moment for the world to swallow him up. The day was going by so well. The man did not say anything but everyone could see the sudden ferocity in his eyes.

"We'll just have a coffee. Black for me. Marco?"

The Italian boy didn't look up. "Latte, thanks."

As they grabbed their hot drinks, Marco looked at Joy who gave him a wounded look. He couldn't blame her. She didn't know. She just didn't know. He forgot all about it when they got home and saw a tiny figure standing on the porch steps. Ellie sat shivering with a faux fur coat wrapped around her. She didn't own any of those jackets.

He jumped out of the stopping van and took her by the shoulders. "Ellie? What's going on?"

Her eyes were bright red from crying. She stumbled over her words, "M-My Mom. She's here, Marco."

He narrowed his eyes.

"What? Why?"

His best friend shook her head, her face scrunching up. Marco wrapped an arm around her gently.

"Where is your Mom and Dad?"

"At the apartment my Dad is staying in," she said. "They'll be coming here looking for me."

He looked up to Mr. Del Rossi. "Can she stay in till her parents come?"

He nodded attentively. "Yes. Yes."

All three of them walked inside and Ellie asked curiously, desperately trying to change the subject, "What were you doing with your Dad?"

Marco sat down on the couch beside her, looking into her eyes defeated. "...I think you may have been right. I think he may have changed. He bought me something I wanted for a long time and not once did I feel threatened around him." A enduring smile appeared on her lips.

"I don't want to say I told you so."

He stretched his arms over his head then over her shoulder, replying, "Feel free. You deserve it." The perfume from the coat was pleasantly strong. It slipped off her shoulders and her green were big with anticipation. He could almost hear her heart beating rapidly against her ribs. The snow that had stick to the bright red was now melted like dewdrops.

Something was vaguely wrong about this moment, staring into each other's eyes, too close. Their noses grazed and lips parted a moment before her voice came out husky, " _...What are we doing_?" Marco closed his eyes for a few moments then in front of his eyes was a lighter-haired person, tall and handsome. He was smiling at him.

Marco reached out and drew the person closer, mashing mouths together. He could taste something sweet in his lips, like bubblegum. His tongue begged for entrance but suddenly the image was gone. It wasn't a guy he was kissing. It was _ELLIE_! Marco jolted away like he had been electrocuted and gawked at her.

"Fuck. Oh fuck, no."

She stared right back, obviously mortified as he was. "What…just…?"

He ran his fingers through his short curly hair, bending over and looking at the floor.

"Ellie…I'm so sorry. This is…oh God."

The girl was too busy staring off into space, touching her lips with her fingertips.

"You didn't see me," she said faintly. Marco knew that she knew and buried his face into his hands. This was just… _wrong_.

A banging came from the front door and it flew open. Mrs. Nash, Mr. Nash, and a shorter man with glasses and graying hair came rushing in uninvited, snapping them back to reality.

The woman took Ellie's arm and yanked her up, smelling strongly of alcohol.

"Come on, Eleanor. We're going."

She cried out terrified, trying to get away, "Mom, what, let me go!"

Before Marco could reach her, her father took her out of Mrs. Nash's clasp and shouted, "She's not your daughter anymore, Helen. You can't kidnap her."

She shouted right back, "She never was yours! You never stayed long enough from that stupid war to even get to know her!" They were screaming at each other while the other man tried to stop them. Marco knelt beside a sobbing Ellie and didn't know how to comfort her. This was all happening too fast. Ellie's mom started bawling.

"I bet you never knew your daughter cut herself! She _cut_ herself with razors and knives until she bled all over the floor!"

Mr. Nash gawked at Ellie who was still sobbing. "Ellie, honey, is this true?" He got no response except for Mrs. Nash who was still screaming.

"She landed herself in the hospital, Miles! Got sent to a crazy ward because of it! Whose fault is that, Miles? Who hasn't been a father figure all these years-?"

Mr. Nash drew up to a powerful figure.

"Probably because you're drinking! You're suppose to be her mother and you don't have custody-!"

"SHUTUP!SHUTUP!SHUTUP!"

Every head turned to Ellie who was bright red with rage.

"IT'S NOT HIS FAULT, MOM! IT'S YOURS! YOU MAKE ME CUT! YOU MADE ME GO CRAZY! YOU NEVER EVEN CALL ME FROM FUCKING WASHINGTON! YOU NEVER SAID YOU LOVED ME! AND DAD, SHE IS RIGHT, YOU'VE NEVER BEEN HERE! HOW COULD YOU HAVE KNOW, NOW YOU'RE GOING TO DIE IN THAT FUCKING WAR AND WE'LL ALL-!"

Marco touched her hand, making her quiet. She started gasping for breath but remained standing trembling. She had stopped crying. The boy said coldly, taking charge, "All of you, get out of my house. Ellie is staying here until she decides to move out. None of you can make her do anything, anymore."

Mrs. Nash stepped forward, pointing a finger, "You little-!"

He slammed a fist on the wall brutally, making the house seem to shake. "I said, _get out_!" She stormed out through the door with the other man, but Mr. Nash was still standing in front of Ellie.

He began, "Baby-"

She growled, not meeting his eyes, "He said get out."

The man looked at Marco who had an murderous look in his almost black eyes and did leave, for good. 

The boy repeatedly slammed another fist on the wall.

" _Goddamnit_!"

Ellie had lost all traces of emotion on her face. As he turned to face her, she stated unconsciously, "Thank you… you know that…" He stared her. "you…I'd never hurt you, Marco. I love you." It struck him. That panic. The dream. The last thing he remembered was falling to the floor, his face full of the yellowed carpet.

 

*


	9. Chapter Nine

*

 

When Marco awoke a few hours later, Ellie had been out as well. It was too much for their systems. Mr. Del Rossi and Sean, who happened to come in ten minutes after Ellie passed out, had taken care of them. Marco had wounded his fist by slamming it on the wall and it was bandaged up tightly because of the blood. Marco had caught his mother washing his blood off the wall, and he stayed too long. When she faced him, she saw her son staring at the cloth in her hand with disdain.

The next few days passed and both kids kept themselves busy. Ellie would stay with Sean and Marco would hang out with his Father, talking about random things and bonding over his childhood. He didn't know whether he could trust his father but it was coming pretty damn close.

Marco was alone at the Dot on Thursday, waiting for his order when Sean Cameron came over to his booth and sat down. "Hey Sean."

"Sup."

"How's Ellie?" Marco asked as Sean pulled up a chair.

"Sleeping."

"Little late, isn't it?"

Sean gave a shrug, muttering, "Whatever." He eyed Marco. "She's been really quiet." When he got a concerned look from Marco, Sean spoke up, "She's fine, no cutting but just really really quiet."

The other boy sling an arm around his chair, muttering humorlessly, "That's our Ellie."

"She won't tell me what happened."

Marco almost choked on his water. "She won't what?"

Sean raised an eyebrow.

"You heard me." Marco fidgeted with his napkin.

"Well, her parents came over and got everyone got really riled up, Sean. She was upset by that."

Ellie's boyfriend added, "Something else happened."

"Nothing," he lied quickly.

Sean didn't buy it and Marco said briefly, "I kissed her, but I swear-" The other boy got up promptly, angrily to stand over him and Marco finished quickly, "I didn't mean to. It happened way too fast. I wasn't seeing her when it happened. I already said I was sorry. I really am, Sean."

He glared. "You've done too much to her, Marco. Just stop it or I'll deal with you myself." Sean made his point clear by knocking over his glass of water and it shattered to pieces on the floor. Spinner, who still worked at the Dot as a waiter, went after Sean and stopped at the doorway as the other boy disappeared down the street. Marco sat frozen in his chair, clearly he had gotten to Sean's last nerve and hoped he didn't take it out on Ellie later. Spinner came back.

"Dude, are you alright? I always hated that bastard." Marco sunk lower into the booth.

"I'm fine. I'll pay for the broken glass," he said.

Spinner got down and swept it up, mopping the water.

Marco found himself walking home, his limbs numbing from the cold day. His pants were wet from the water that Sean had splilled purposely. He realized as the snow came down harder and thicker that he had left his jacket at Ellie's house a while ago.

 

*

 

It was a treacherous journey back from the other town of Gardeville. His beautiful black convertible with the red racing stripes, _his baby,_ had died the day before. Damn battery.

Dylan wadded through several feet of snow, his pants crusted with ice and mud.

Besides of freezing, his mind was absently wandering away which was a danger when he tread over frozen ground and stones hidden in the white snow. Dylan had been traveling back from Tom's. He had eaten lunch over at his friend's house. Tom was so nice. He had comforted Dylan after his and Marco's fight. He had treated him so well and gave so much encouragement to move on, to forget him.

 _But_... how could he forget Marco Del Rossi? The boy who had stolen his heart, the person who made him feel like he was invincible, the young man with kisses that lit his soul on fire?

Over time, Dylan Michalchuk tried countless times to convince himself that he didn't need him. It was just a fling. There was other people. He tried dating but nothing came to him. Now, he was determined somewhat to remain a hermit with no one to love him... so he couldn't hurt anyone or get hurt.

At times, Dylan wondered how deep Marco's pain went, but it had gone far deeper then anyone could imagine when Marco had resorted to flirting with Ellie Nash that night at Jimmy Brooks' party. He had to admit... it made him jealous to see him caressing her arm and giving her seductive looks. Dylan knew Ellie had been upset with Marco and he expected that she forgave him as she always would.

Life went on and he had Tom's company to keep himself from breaking down. He even forgave him for the night three years ago when Tom forcibly had kissed him at the dinner.

That's what friends do... they forgive and forget.

Dylan continued roaming through the sidewalk and squinted through the howling wind. A figure was approaching steadily. He pulled his hockey jacket closer to his shivering arms and kept on. It was a shorter person than himself from the few feet Dylan was.

He could see that the person wasn't wearing a jacket. Thin arms clasped around the body, a long-sleeved wool sweater, and denim jeans that cling tightly. Dylan passed, hardly seeing anything and walked on farther. Suddenly, Dylan hesitated, his heart racing faster as recognition slapped him across the face. He spun around as wind whipped past, his voice barely a whisper, " _Marco_."

What he spoke must have carried because the figure stopped. Marco carefully looked back and saw him staring at him with disbelieving blue orbs.

What struck Dylan agonizingly... was his eyes.

The normally beautiful eyes that were filled with so many emotions and coyness were now very detached. It was like staring at a brick wall.

Dylan could see him clearer now. He never blinked, his black hair was in curls now, showing his blank face. He was taller than before, his entire body was surrounding by a different energy. It was so imitating that Dylan felt himself back a step away. Marco narrowed his eyes at him and said something slowly but his words got lost in the wind. 

This felt like a dream to him, as if this moment was playing tricks in his head… Dylan had to know if he was really here…

Dylan made his way over and Marco still had not moved, merely glared at him. He asked with a cracking voice, "Are you really here?"

His only response was the breeze thrashing in his ears before a low growl reached his ears, "Get out of my life and stay in your own."

This time Marco did move to leave but shoved the older boy out of his path before moving through the snow piles. Dylan was stunned by the experience because Marco was ruthlessly strong when he pushed him, managing to knock the over six-foot 170-pound hockey player off his feet and sent tumbling into the ground.

He was long gone when Dylan had brushed the snow out of his face and had gotten up.

This person…was not Marco. This was not the Marco he remembered a long time ago.

Dylan made it home. His parents and Paige was running around, doing their own schedules. He draped his jacket on the banister, his mind wandering even more and didn't even notice when he smacked into his sister. Paige's soda spilled all over the cherrywood floor and she shrieked, "DYLAN! Watch where the hell you're going, will you?" When he didn't make a remark and continued walking into the living room, Paige got angrier. She stomped over and demanded as he sat on the couch, "What's wrong with you? Did Tom try to hit on you again?"

His eyes looked up. They looked so lost, so desolate. She felt her anger shrink away and asked softly, "Dylan, what did he do to you?"

He shook his head, gleaming blond curls shivering.

"It wasn't him. Marco passed me on my way home... at first I thought I was seeing things…" Paige touched his broad shoulder sympathetically. "He looks so different, Paige... he doesn't look like the Marco I remember. I'm not even sure if that was Marco but somehow he's changed. It was appealing. His anger made me want him more. The air around him was dangerous and so... sexy. I don't know what's wrong with me. Why do I keep holding onto the hope of him coming back? Why can't I get over him?"

His sister's turquoise eyes shone brightly. She spoke his dread, "Because you still love him."

He wanted to shut her up. It had been three years. It was time to stop living for the unreachable. Paige said boldly, "You have to talk to him, go to his house-" Dylan shook his head.

"No, you know what... I'm really going to stop acting like heartbroken teenage girl. Clearly Marco has moved on and I can, too. There's no point in being depressed anymore."

Paige was about to speak up but her brother was already leaving the room. She frowned considerately and went to look for the phone book, her elegantly manicured finger trailed over the C's.

Three rings before a male voice answered.

"Hello, Sean. It's Paige Michalchuk. Is Ellie there?"

"Hold on, Princess," was his response.

The slightly throaty voice of Ellie followed, "Paige? What do you want?"

 _'Nice greeting'_ thought the blonde girl and she said offhandedly, "Ellie, hun. How's it going?"

Silence came from the other line.

Paige dropped the act. "Okay. I'm calling because you are the only one that can help me. You know Marco the best."

"What are you planning, Paige?"

She smirked as Paige held the receiver closer. "This might take a while, so grab a snack and listen up."

 

*


	10. Chapter Ten

*

 

Saturday. He would remember that day forever.

Marco started out his morning by saying goodbye to his Ma when she left for her short vacation with her girlfriends. They had let him in on their planning for a surprise baby shower. In the afternoon, he invited Jimmy, Craig, and Spinner over to jam in his basement and sent them off around five. Overall, he was in a good mood. Around the evening, the phone rang. "Del Rossi residence."

Ellie's voice breezed through the connection, "Hey."

He smiled cheerfully. "Hey, Ell. What are you up to?"

Her voice sweetened. It was a rare moment when that happened. "Nothing, _dear_. Can you come over? I've got a surprise."

Marco purred teasingly, "I bet you do." She laughed.

"Well, can you?"

"I'm sure my Dad won't mind. I'll see you in a few. Ciao."

He hung up and heard his door open. Mr. Del Rossi stepped in wearing a heavy, leather jacket. "Who was that, Marco?"

"Just Ellie. She invited me over to her house."

The man said slowly, "We are going to the movies, aren't we?"

Marco replied casually, not looking upset, "We can go tomorrow. It's no big deal." He grabbed his wool jacket hanging by the bedroom door and Mr. Del Rossi's thick arm blocked the doorway.

"You cannot go. We are going to the movies. Call that girl back." Marco wasn't seeing what the big deal was.

He burrowed his brows. "Pa-"

" _DON'T TALK BACK TO ME_!"

The fortress of a man lunged and Marco ducked him, skipping the freak-out mode, and making a break for the staircase. Mr. Del Rossi seized him by the arms and flung him, smacking Marco against the wall. As he crumbled, he heard him say, "You will not disobey me. I am proud of you for leaving that boy and for not being unnatural, but you will _not_ disobey my authority."

Something tightened in his chest and Marco said in a low voice, "I can't believe this. You never changed."

Mr. Del Rossi kicked him in the ribs and Marco couldn't catch his breath. The man punched him in the face and Marco gasped. The boy shoved him off and gave him a firm punch in the stomach in hopes of him backing away. He could hardly see with the blood gushing into his eyes. Mr. Del Rossi got a hold of him, agony took him as he was dragged over the carpet.

It suddenly got dark and something cracked.

 

*

 

...There was so much pain. Marco opened one eye to greet the floor below him.

His body refused to respond as he lifted his head up. He saw all of his things trashed on the ground. The photos of his friends were shattered. His posters on his wall were dangling in shreds, and his alarm clock was in a twisted metal heap. He tried again to sit up and one of his arms laid frozen in place. Marco nearly fainted at the sight of his right arm. It was twisted out of place and swelling up fast. Shaking violently, he heard someone open a door downstairs.

As quick as Marco could, the teenager got off the floor and laid a blanket over himself, lying as quiet as he could on his bed. His world was spinning cursorily. Marco was about to slip into unconsciousness. The new morning sunshine streamed from his window and into his face, lulling him sleepily.

His bedroom door opened and he heard someone scream, "Oh my god - MARCO- _OH MY GOD_!"

He groaned, letting his head peek out. "Ellie, please stop screaming."

She went to his side and was tugging on the blanket but he kept it firmly covering him with his good hand. Her green eyes were wide and frightened. "What happened here? Are you ok?"

"He was better, Ellie? He was no better of a person from the beginning."

A hand went to her mouth and she looked at her surroundings, shaking her head. "No…no…" Marco threw the blanket away to show her his injury and she closed her eyes, burying her face into her hands. "No…I just came to see why you didn't come…" Ellie met his eyes, tears glittering in her eyes. "Why?"

"Ask my Father."

She came forward to embrace him and he pushed her away, groaning in pain. Ellie asked frantically, "What do we do?"

"I sure as hell can't stay here unless I want to end up dead."

Her face contorted and Ellie screamed at him, "Stop talking like that!"

His face didn't look the least bit fazed except now pain was running up his numb arm. "Ellie, I think it's broke."

She lost her rigid composure and suggested feebly, "What about Officer Jennings? Did you still have her phone number?"

Marco's temper rose. "She's the one that brought him back into this house! Why should I call her?"

Her mascara was running when Ellie watched silently as he grabbed his arm and writhed in agony. She bent over him and lifted his chin to look into her eyes. "If you're gonna be stubborn, I'll knock you out and drag you. We'll go to Sean's and call the cops. I can't fix your arm on my own. He'll have to help me."

The boy didn't protest but had her help him get up and start walking. When they got outside, Marco saw that his father's van was long gone.

He murmured, "What am I suppose to tell my Ma?"

"The truth," Ellie told him. "It's the only thing you can do."

They went up to the sidewalk and opened the unlocked front door. Ellie called for Sean as Marco leaned on the coffee table in the living room. She disappeared for a few seconds and came back confused. "He's not here, Marco. I don't know where he is," she said frustrated.

Marco winced, saying through gritted teeth, "Ah, this thing sucks!" When he touched his shoulder, it felt as if the pain had exploded and the world was tilted on an angle. Ellie's alarmed face was over his and he realized that he was laying on the floor. She left his line-of-vision for a while and panic was about to set in when a wool blanket covered him. _  
_

_'Thank you, Ell.'_

Someone was playing with his hair and his best friend was talking to him but he couldn't hear her. The pounding of his heart in his eardrums was too loud. She turned her head to another direction and a glint of blond came from the corner of his left eye. Was that… Paige? What on Earth was she doing here?

He was being lifted to a sitting position with Ellie to lean on and a voice said in his ear, " _Brace yourself. This might hurt._ "

It was right. Hands gripped his injured arm and Marco was struggling. Ellie held him down.

With a violent jerk, his arm was popped back into his socket and a scream escaped Marco's throat. For a few minutes he blacked out. When Marco came to, he was resting in someone else's arms and his face was buried into a blue-clothed shoulder. It smelled vaguely of perspiration and oranges. It was a nice smell.

Instinctively, he moved closer and was pleasantly comfortable in the warmth of the body that cradled him.

Marco's hearing returned. Paige's voice drifted from the far side of the room. "So you did call the cops. What about an ambulance?"

Ellie whispered nearby, "I was hoping to reach you guys so you could help me get him there…where's that icepack? I think he's awake."

There was rummaging and the icepack burned against the swelling. Marco let out a moan and a low voice said quietly, " _It's okay, Marco, this will help._ " While he heard the voice say his name, it seemed _right_. If only he had the energy to lift his head and look at the person with this magnificent voice.

Paige spoke up, "We should get him to a doctor, that swelling looks bad."

He was being lifted again only to fall into darkness once again.

 

*

 

The sickly green colors of the hospital walls brought shivers down Ellie Nash's spine. Whenever she saw that color, she was always remembered of hospitals, of the time she burned her arm when her house was set on fire. When she purposely cut herself, she would awake to these tiny walls, feeling cramped and suffocated. It was a terrible feeling.

Even if it wasn't her that was laying in the hospital cot, Ellie couldn't help but feel scared. The help centre reminded her of this place and that place drove her insane, but her cutting stopped. She has been clean for three years now. She hadn't been tempted and sharp objects made her uneasy… not free.

She sat beside Marco's sleeping form, clutching his hand, hoping for some movement.

The doctors said that he had a torn muscle in his arm and there would be in a lot of pain for a while. There were also some bruised ribs, a cut on face but he would be okay. The police said they'd talk to him when he was fully recovered. They were searching for Mr. Del Rossi. She hadn't gotten a chance to call Mrs. Del Rossi yet. She didn't really know what to say to the woman.

Her claustrophobia got dire when Marco's guy friends came in, shutting the door behind them. Ellie looked up alarmed.

"What are you all doing?"

Craig plopped down in a chair beside her, breathing heavily. "The nurse won't let us all go through the waiting room so we ran past security. I think we lost them." Spinner and Jimmy fought for the other chair on the opposite wall. Sean strolled right on in and she leaped from her seat to press against him.

Ellie mumbled in Sean's hoodie as he hugged her back, "I hate hospitals."

"I know you do, babe."

Spinner stole Ellie's seat and said out loud, "Dude, I think he's waking up."

Ellie tore herself away from Sean and went on the other side of the bed, calling Marco's name.

Glittering dark brown eyes opened and he stated softly, "Hi, guys." Jimmy smiled at him.

"How are you feeling, buddy?"

Marco looked at Sean who leaned against the wall. "Hi, Sean." He giggled and pointed at him with his undamaged arm. "Look, Ellie, it's Sean."

Everyone looked at her baffled and she shook her head.

"It must be the painkillers. They'll make you a little airy."

Marco leaned forward, looking utmost serious. "Spin… was your hair always pink?" he asked.

The blond boy tugged at a long strand, inspecting it and Craig frowned, adding, "Maybe we should go."

Ellie led them out. "Yeah, I think you should." Sean was the last one out. He rubbed the back of his neck.

"Give me a half an hour and we can go out for something to eat, okay?" she told him.

His face read nothing as Sean shoved his hands into his pockets. "Actually, I think I'm going to head home," he said. "I'll see you tonight and I'll cook something for you."

"Are you sure?"

His blue eyes filled with reassurance. He said, "Yeah, I'll see you at home," and kissed her mouth, turning away to leave.

Ellie smiled as he disappeared into the elevator and another boy poked his head into the room, asking, "Is he asleep?"

She gaped slightly.

" _Dylan_. I thought…I thought you went home."

He shrugged, "I was," but didn't tear his eyes away from the cot.

"He, uh, he went back to sleep a minute ago. Sorry."

Dylan didn't say anything and Ellie said, coming forward, "Thank you." His blue eyes look at her grateful face, as she smiled and added, "For driving us here, for coming to Sean's when I called, for fixing Marco's arm. The doctors said if you hadn't... there would have been surgery."

He said genuinely, "You're welcome."

Ellie offered quickly, "I could wake him if you wanted to talk…"

"No, that's fine."

Dylan stepped away but then looked her in the eye sternly.

"I know what you and Paige were trying to do. It was a nice thought but we can handle our problems by ourselves. Besides, Marco's more important things to deal with now."

Her eyes glowed furiously.

"You don't think I know that?" She walked off, her loose hair flying behind her. Dylan walked out of the ward, his thoughts buzzing around his head like irate bees.

He was angry, angry at the people who let this monster back into the Del Rossi home, angry at Mr. Del Rossi for hurting Marco, angry at a lot of people but especially at himself. Angry at himself for getting worked up over this, for letting this happen, not being there to stop it. He had been hesitant to go to Ellie's but when he knew Marco was hurt, he didn't waste any time.

His cell phone rang as Dylan sat in the waiting room. Paige's voice came through the connection, " _Where are you_?"

"At the hospital. Tell Mom and Dad I'll be home for dinner."

" _One question though, why are you still there_?"

"Goodbye, Paige," he said before hanging up on her smug question.

The child on the chair beside him began bawling as the annoyed mother dragged him into the examining room. Dylan rubbed his temples, muttering, "Just let this day end."

 

*

 

_The grass beneath him tickled his bare feet. He was settled on his back. The grass couldn't tickle his elbows because of the blanket laid out underneath him. It must have been morning since the sun was bright but not hot and dewdrops were still glossed on the lawn. He was in his backyard... yes, there was the oak fence and his Ma's herb garden near the patio._

_Suddenly, strong arms drew him close and into a loving embrace. He looked up to cloudless skies of eyes, curly gold hair, and a secretive smile. He looked down to see rippled muscles under a thin white shirt and gently placed a hand on Dylan's chest. The blond smiled wider. "Hey, you. What are you thinking about?"_

_He met Dylan's eyes again and felt no emotion but Marco leaned into the other boy._

_"I dunno," he murmured. "How happy I am."_

_"Are you happy? What are you happy about?"  
_

_He could feel a light breeze coming from the South, cool and dry. Marco traced the hollow in Dylan's neck._

_"I think I'm happy to be here with you. I think I wouldn't be any happier in any other place." Tender kisses were on his neck and he closed his eyes, feeling Dylan run a hand up his back, resting on his waistline._

_A loud screech came from the inside of his house._

_He looked at the back door then to blue eyes. Dylan nodded. "I'll be here waiting for you when you get back."_

_Marco got up, seeing Dylan still smiling at him on the blanket and didn't feel scared at the sound of another screech, only fascinated._

_As he trudged up to the patio, the grass become wetter and the sky was getting darker with every step he took. The doorway was black with murk, menacing and sinister. Without hesitation, he entered. There was little light inside his house but he continued into the kitchen._

_On the floor was the biggest puddle of blood and he stood right in it. It was warm and disgusting. But he couldn't feel revulsion or horror. His eyes went to the only door where the darkest red was leaking through the bottom creak. This was all too familiar. The door swung open but no one came from the shadows. A shriek of terror reached his hearing and he walked through the blood-soaked kitchen tiles into the blackened room. The light was on but moving shadows obscured his vision, making it hard to focus._

_He staggered a moment and saw someone on the floor, bleeding and screaming to the top of their lungs. His Papa was over them as the person on the floor screamed louder, his Ma's wide eyes bulging.  
_

_His legs didn't move forward and again, he felt nothing. It was if his feelings and emotions were blurred away._

_Then... the scene changed._

_The air was heavier and the shadows were gone. Goosebumps went up his arms as more shrieks came from the room, but they were breathier and littler._

_His throat began to close up when he looked back to see Ellie stripped on the carpet, her reddened face soaked with tears. Repulsion pulsed through him and he made a move forward to help her when a outline came from out of nowhere. When the outline's face shown clearly in the lamplight, Marco backed away._

_It was his face._

_A clone of himself stepped over her and she cried louder, begging._

_His duplicate grabbed her by the neck and said hoarsely, "Am I the Marco you remembered, Ellie?"_

_His fist slammed into her face and her innocent blood gushed out of her nose. He reached into his jacket pocket and pull out a gun. Marco was going to be sick. He was going to faint. He couldn't watch.  
_

_Marco put his shaking hands to his forehead in terror as the other whispered, "You are nothing. The world is nothing to me!_ Fuck _everything!_ Fuck _it all!"_

_A gunshot echoed and Ellie had stopped moving. A bloody hole in her breast was spraying. Marco fell onto his knees and could feel his stomach wrenching. Another gunshot and his replica's body fell down dead beside the redhead. Tears were creeping into his eyes and Dylan had been leaning on the entryway with his arms crossed, surveying with his dim cerulean eyes._

_You're just like your Father, you know. You're just as bad as he was. You're becoming him." But he was addressing it to the dead bodies._

_Blue eyes turned to Marco and passed the same message to him._

_But he couldn't hear him... he could only hear his own screaming._

 

*


	11. Chapter Eleven

*

 

"AHHHH!" Spinner screamed, clutching his foot painfully and hobbling around the hospital wing. Ellie and Craig gave him weirded out looks.

"What the hell are you doing?"

He gestured wildly to the pointed doorstop. "The damn thing stubbed my toe." Craig raised his eyebrows.

"Why are you wearing sandals in winter?" he asked, suspiciously.

"Cause my feet sweat too much!"

The girl made a aggravated sound with her throat and went back to staring at her best friend. Her brows burrowed and Ellie touched his forehead. It was slicked with sweat.

Craig noticed her troubled expression. "What's wrong?" Ellie touched Marco's forehead.

"He's sweating a lot."

As the two boys observed her, she removed the heaviest blanket off the sleeping body and the tiniest of whimpers passed his lips. Spinner stopped complaining. "Should we get a nurse?"

Suddenly, Marco's eyes snapped open and he let out an scream, jolting up like he'd been electrocuted. Everyone jumped and she clasped her hands on his shoulder. "Marco! Marco, stop screaming!" His eyes darted around the room wildly as his small frame heaved gasps. When he met her hazel-green gaze, Marco began crawling away from her.

Ellie was speechless at the horrified look he was giving her.

"M…Marco…?"

He crawled into a corner and went into a ball, pressing his face to his knees.

Craig saw that Ellie wasn't going to move and got up from the chair, crouching beside him and touched the middle of his back. "Hey. Are you okay? What were you dreaming about?"

Brown eyes stared at him, half blinded with tears. Craig said with more consolation and a smile, "C'mon, you can tell me." A sob rocked him and Marco turned his head away. Craig rubbed his back. "You can tell me when you're ready, alright?" A quick nod of the other boy's head satisfied him and he said to the rest of them, "We should leave him alone."

They complied and the afternoon passed without grace. Marco went back into his bed to stare lifelessly at the ceiling. The afternoon rounds approached and Nurse Terry entered briskly, taking his pulse and temperature, and said rigorously, "Sit up, Marco. Are you hungry?"

He obeyed her command and said croakily, "Yeah. Do you have Jello today?"

Her thin smile stretched out on her long face, "Of course," and put his tray out in front of him, checking his bandaged right arm. She left him to go through the slow task of eating.

Ellie peeked in. "Marco?"

His eyes got big and his spoon dropped onto the plate. She held up her hands.

"Marco, I'm not going to hurt you. I don't know why you're afraid of me… can we talk?"

He protested, "I'm trying to forget it."

"Forget what?"

Marco didn't feel like arguing. He shoved his tray aside. "I had a dream, okay? It was bad and it scared me."

"What's this got to do with me?"

"You were in it and… I hurt you. I killed you."

Her mouth dropped open. She reached for a chair and sank into it, "W-Why?" Marco He looked at the floor.

"I don't know, Ellie. I never want to see something like that again. I get these horrible bloody dreams and some part of it comes true, most of the time it's something someone says. It happened the day your parents came to my house, that's why I passed out." His hands went through unruly black curls. "I don't know how to make them stop."

"Marco, that's sounds terrible. I'm sorry.

"You have nothing to be sorry about, it wasn't your fault."

Ellie pulled him into a fierce hug and he didn't return it. His cold demeanor had returned. The police returned to talk to him. They asked questions about what happened and the past accounts. Officer Jennings never appeared and he figured she was too much of a coward to face him now that this happened. His Father had been arrested in a gas station outside Roberval. His mother was coming by a quick carpool and would be able to reach him when he was released from the hospital.

When he and Ellie were just watching television, one of the security guards knocked on the door.

"Sorry to bother you," he said, "but I've got a young man here who's been hanging around the hospital for the past few days. He says that he was visiting you." Being dragged in was a rumpled Dylan Michalchuk. He yanked himself out of the unkind grip of the other man, glaring a little.

At first, warmth washed over Marco, but then it disappeared and ice set in his eyes.

"Leave him here." As soon as the guard left, he snarled, "What the hell are you doing here?"

Ellie interrupted, frowning, "Marco, Dylan was the one who fixed your arm. He was the one who helped you when you were hurt."

Marco frowned back, glaring at her.

"Marco, I know you hate me…"

" _Pretty much_."

Ellie shook her head and left the room, not being able to take his attitude. Dylan added knowingly, "Ellie makes a valid point."

"Get out of here," Marco said, nastily. "You are the last person I want to see."

The hockey player snorted. "We're not even going to have a civil conversation?"

Marco's brown eyes were steadfast and Dylan gave up, parting without a another word.

 

*


	12. Chapter Twelve

*

 

Their Christmas tree was unharmed in Mr. Del Rossi's livid path, a plain green pine tree decorated with angel ornaments and their star was a bright yellow color and glowed brightly.

Tessa noticed her son glanced at it silently as she stepped in, only holding her purse. He wouldn't allow her to carry anything else.

The friendly neighbors Mr. and Mrs. Gladys came back with them to help them with the luggage. She invited them over for some baked goods. As they happily greeted Marco, he merely nodded back and sat in a chair in the other room. She figured he needed the rest. Slowly, the Italian woman went to kitchen to get her special cookies and they politely took several.

Mr. Gladys was one of those golfing husbands in tweed vests, balding and losing his sight from reading. Although he seemed like a composed man, he was quite adventurous and cheerful. His wife, Carrie, use to own a horse ranch in Montana and lost that country accent.

 "I'm dreadfully sorry to hear about your son. The poor dear." Carrie turned her big gold eyes to her hubby. "To think that poor creature was hurt like that."

Mr. Gladys agreed, "He seems a bit quiet. A sort of cross young man."

Tessa didn't mind their talk. From all the years of knowing them, she knew that their tactlessness was harmless. They talked amongst themselves as she began thinking to herself.

When Tessa got the news that her Dante had beaten Marco and put him in the hospital when she was gone, she was half blind with rage. To her husband and herself.

If she had known that this would have happened… Of course, she couldn't have known. He had gotten better. The doctors had said but they had been wrong. The neighbors left and Tessa got up from her chair, her ankles sore as she got to her feet. The baby inside her kicked impatiently and with her hand on the small of her back, she peeked into the living room.

Her teenager was sitting in a chair, cradling his bandaged arm and had been staring at that Christmas tree for a long time. They were thinking the same thought: _'At least he didn't steal the presents.'_

"Marco… are you hungry?"

His dark brown eyes never moved.

"No."

She eyed his sullen face. The beginning signs of worry appeared on her face. "I'll be upstairs Marco, if you need me."

Tessa made her way up the stairs and entered the master bedroom. Thankfully the officials stopped investigating and everything was back in their normal place. A vase of roses sat magnificently in the corner, the walls were a peach color, matching the curtains. She placed her purse on the king sized bed and sat down, already exhausted. Tessa wasn't an idiot by any means, simply blinded by love. Her warm eyes trailed to her husband's dresser and saw all the contents were hanging over the rim.

She went over to fold the socks back into the drawer but a bottle caught her watchful eye. Tessa held up the prescription and shook it hard. Several pills rattled inside the plastic. Inspecting the label, she found that it was the medicine he was taking in the ward. Why would he still be taking it?

Wasting no time, she rummaged through the rest of the drawers and found more of these mini containers. Tessa threw them back, shaking her head. Another thing to talk to the police about. As she crossed the hallway, her son's door was opened. When she got closer, she could hear him mumbling and there was a loud noise of ripping paper.

She stepped inside and gasped, "Marco!" He looked up surprised. In his left fist was a sharp pencil.

What shocked her was to see him stabbing it through a photo of a smiling Dylan, distorting the bright face horribly.

"Marco, stop this at once!"

She took an end of the photo and he yanked back furiously, shouting, "No!" They fought against each other's strength and Tessa won. She fell backwards against the bedroom wall as he gave her the coldest look he could muster before running downstairs. She was deeply shaken. After a few moments of finding her bravery and drying her tears, Tessa went downstairs to see Marco waiting for her. At once he exploded, "You had no right to sneak into my room like that, Ma!"

Her voice trembled, "Why were you ruining his picture?"

"It's none of your business!"

Her eyes flashed heatedly. "MARCO DEL ROSSI! DO NOT TALK TO ME LIKE I AM SOME CHILD!" He opened his mouth and she raised her voice, " ** _SILENZIO_**!"

For a second, only a second, Marco grew afraid of her and flinched as if she strike him.

Her voice grew softer but nevertheless perilous, "I have had it up to here with your attitude. I don't care if you have a bandaged arm, you will not talk to your mother with such disrespect. I prayed for many days and nights when you were a child that you would not blacken your heart with hate. You would not become his enemy and his accomplice, or his mirrored image. I loved your Father but to know he treats you with such cruelty and anger, I am ashamed. I have always sided with you, I will always love you because you are my son, gay or not. But ever since you graduated high school, you have become troubled. I seen it towards strangers and your best friends. You're _becoming_ him."

His mouth dropped and Mrs. Del Rossi stormed into the kitchen, leaving him in a whirlwind of sudden emotions.

 

*

 

The parks around the suburban small-town Canada were lush and green when March rolled around.

The college students were back in classes, exams were coming, and Marco was studying at his job. The bright atmosphere was dying as the late afternoon draped over the coffee shop. Only a few business people were sipping black coffee. Joy was braiding her yellow hair to a sideways style. He was slumped over his heavy textbook, his thin reading glasses slipping off his nose.

"I'm bored," she whined.

"Then go sort the supplies in the back."

"But that's _boring_!"

He answered patiently, "It needs to be done. I'm studying."

Joy made a loud fuss as she dragged herself away from the counter and said over her shoulder, "I dunno why they make us wear these stupid aprons! They look so gay!"

One of the younger businessmen looked up offended and Marco said with his eyes: _'She doesn't know any better.'_

A hour or so passed before the customers were long gone and closing time was approaching. Joy went to the back room to change into her street clothes and Marco closed his book, untying his red and blue striped apron and throwing it into his bag. The bell above the front entrance tinkled and he said without looking up, "Sorry. We're closed."

A deep male voice sneered, "The door was unlocked."

Automatically, Marco regained his position behind the counter and looked up to see leather jackets and knife holsters.

The leader smirked.

"Fag, open the cash register."

"This is how you get your kicks, robbing coffee shops?"

Mo smirked wider. "Don't tempt me to fucking kill you." As he turned to Jay, Marco pressed the emergency red button under the counter. 

They didn't seem to notice the movement and Jay asked in a low voice, "Is there anyone else here?"

Marco began to feel a little bit of panic. If he lied and they found Joy, they might kill them both. But if he told them she was here, he found as well be signing her tombstone. Before Marco could do anything, Joy stepped in wearing her mink coat.

She stopped at the doorway, her eyes going wide. One of the tattooed men grabbed her and held his knife against her. Joy whimpered out, "Marco!"

Her attacker growled, "Shut up, bitch."

_The manager's gun…_

Marco's hand went under the counter and felt it in a drawer. He pulled it out on Jay who backed away, clearly he didn't have a gun. "Let her go and I won't blow your brains out."

"You aren't man enough to kill someone," Mo said.

He cocked the barrel at him.

"Wanna test that theory?"

"Marco, no!" Joy screamed. The tattooed man gave her a nick against her temple and she sobbed. Mo reached into his back pocket and pulled out his own gun. Mid-way through this action, gunshots rang in the air and ricocheted off the wall. Everyone ducked down and the police came crashing in, pointing their guns at the crooks and helping the teenagers to their feet.

Marco put an arm around Joy's shaking shoulders as she wept, "Oh God…Oh God…"

She was taken away and Officer Fish shook his head when his gray eyes saw him. "Kid, how do you get yourself into these situations?"

"Lucky." His cell phone was vibrating and Marco flipped it open.

"Hello… _NOW_? Damn, okay, I'll be there in a minute."

Officer Fish was happy to give him a lift.

 

*


	13. Chapter Thirteen

*

 

The hospital near Degrassi St. was busier then ever. People were running around with broken arms and coughing kids. In the maternity ward, things were slightly less hectic. Several new fathers were pacing nervously around the waiting room, chewing off their fingernails and eyeing the double doors.

Marco sat on the couch, staring blankly at the magazine rack. It had been an hour or so before a uniformed nurse came out, asking "Marco Ross? Is there a Marco Ross?"

He stood up, correcting her icily, "It's Del Rossi."

She didn't look fazed by his tone and signaled him to follow her which he did with the same coolness. Finally, the nurse led him to a smaller room where his mother laid in. Her hair was pulled up to a sweaty bun and her face broke into a smile when she saw him. "My son… come see your new little brother." Curiosity had seized him so suddenly. He obeyed, standing beside the bed and peering over light blue blankets. Mrs. Del Rossi pulled back the fold to reveal a tiny, dark-haired head. The newborn squealed as she gently smoothed back the tuft of hair, "His name is Damian Matthew."

Marco felt every trace of coldness leave him when the baby squealed again and softly touched his outstretched hand. His…brother smelled like powder and everything innocent in this world.

The feeling of love tightened on his heart so hard that he found it hard to breathe and Marco murmured, turning away, "I love you, Ma."

With her watching his back, he exited into the hallway and pressed his back against the wall, sinking onto the floor. What was going on with him? It seemed like forever before someone acknowledge his presence. "Marco?" A woman in black jeans and wavy hair placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Wow. Just look at you, you look…" She couldn't seem to find the right words and he stared up at her surprised.

"Rose?"

A warm smile appeared on her thin face. "Good to see you too, cousin. Where's your mama?"

He pointed to the door across the hall.

"Why are you out here all by yourself?" Absently, Rose touched his curly hair and he escaped her, setting his chin on his knees.

The woman said sadly, "You are different somehow."

Marco answered with a voice just as cheerless, "Lots of things are."

Rosalie Del Rossi immediately pulled him into a bone-crushing hug.

"What are you - _stop_ \- Rose, lemme go!"

She just hugged him closer. "You need one of these. You are far too distant." Rosalie was surprisingly stronger than him and he unwillingly relaxed in her grasp. He hadn't been affectionate in so long that the hug seemed almost painful….or maybe because it was happening so fast. Whether Marco liked it or not, he was beginning to feel a warmth return to his system.

His cousin sat beside him, untangling her arms and said, "Now, you must tell me everything that has happened since I last spoke to you."

"I don't think…"

Her almond shaped eyes narrowed. "You want another hug?"

He shook his head grudgingly, starting from the morning he found Ellie in her house. Rose never interrupted him once and he found himself confessing everything, every dark secret, every evil thought that crossed his mind, every _feeling_. She said when he ended, "What do you think? About yourself, do you know why you act so negatively?" Marco's eyes wandered.

"I… I'm not sure. I thought I had a good excuse, everyone should leave me the hell alone because of how Pa hurt me but…..it was bigger than that. It was like I shut myself from the world because I was afraid of getting hurt again and took out everything on everyone else."

"Is that okay, Marco?"

"No. It's not. I think I…"

He couldn't finish. Rose took him by the arm and pulled him up.

"I think you need to go home," she said. "I'll come up with an excuse for your Mama."

"How did you get here anyway?"

"Flew, my arms are tired," Rose continued, becoming serious, "I know how you feel Marco. When my mother rejected me for being a lesbian, I thought a lot of bad thoughts. Not having the love of my family hurt me more than you'll ever know. I cut myself away from all ties for a while. I thought I could not deal with it."

He asked as they hailed a tax outside the building, "What happened? How did you get better?"

She opened the door but faltered. A beat passed and Rosalie took out her wallet. He observed confused as the woman pulled out a small picture and handed it over. Carefully, he examined the photograph. It was a blonde woman with a heart shaped face and very bright copper-colored eyes. She had pursed her lips to the camera and winked slyly.

"I fell in love again." Rose smiled broadly. "We had our shares of up and downs as all couples do. But the best thing I could do for myself was to come back to her when I needed it." Her words followed Marco well into the evening when he was laying upstairs in his room, staring at the ceiling, in his familiar position. Was she trying to tell him something?

Their conversation at the hospital made a hole in his head. An intense feeling swept over him, so powerful that it made his flesh shiver. It was realization.

He had sacrificed the love he had by keeping his distance and becoming hollow to everyone else. This entire thing happened because of a fight, a fight he wasn't even sure was important anymore… possibly. Dylan never did that to him…he never acted like he had to everyone he knew… he could even be happy without him.

Maybe his Ma was right, maybe he was becoming his father's image.

_'No. Damnit, I'm not him. I'm Marco… I'm Marco.'_

He blinked his brown eyes, finding tears slipping down his face and let the dam break. "I'm Marco." He cried as if his life depend on it. He curled into a ball and let the salty water soak into his sheets. Marco cried out the anger, the sadness, the fear, every hidden emotion he held for three years was let go. It lasted long into the night.

 

*

 

She was asleep in Sean's arms... well she had dreamed she had been. Dressed in her red and black pajamas, the redhead scratched her ponytail and shuffled through her dorm room, trying not to wake up her sophomore roommate. She pulled out the milk labeled _Ellie_ and gulped down the small amount left.

Her ebony-painted fingernails trailed over the blah-colored curtains shielding the outside world.

Ellie pulled them open, the bright light hitting the face of her roommate. As the sophomore muttered swear words under her breath, Ellie silently apologized and went to change in the bathroom. The forest background in the college had a beautiful feeling to it in early morning. She eventually went to walk down the sidewalks, her hands in her hoodie pockets, just taking the spring air in her lungs. Her thoughts meddled together.

She wondered why the campus seemed so empty outside. Why the inside mess hall was shut down? Why wasn't Sean calling? Why did Paige talk to her like she wasn't beneath her?

Where did Marco disappear to?

As if someone had heard her thoughts, her name was called out. Ellie squinted her eyes. The sunshine was hurting her vision. A figure walked to her, tense yet assertive. Thin arms wrapped around her shoulders and Marco Del Rossi hugged her calmly.

"You're my best friend." He kissed her face several times before pulling back to gaze in her eyes contently. It felt as if the world was spinning out of control… Marco, with his angry face and his newly developed insensitive nature, hugging her! Kissing her? Was that a _smile_ on his face?

Ellie touched the spot on her cheek where his warm lips touched.

"Oh... my God. Who are you?"

He shrugged and her eyes widened. His clothes matched, his face shaved, his messy curly hair was gone and replaced but not with long straight hair but short and spiky.

"No really, who are you?"

Marco's eyes gleamed when he said softly, "I'm Marco."

Ellie tugged a strand of his hair.

"You look different."

"You don't know the half of it."

She shook her head. "You aren't….."

"Livid? Depressed? Bitchy? Stinky? Scary? Did I miss anything?" He asked with a laugh.

"Holy shit, you're laughing."

Marco nodded. "Yes, Ell... people tend to laugh when something amuses them." His remark brought an automatic response that was planted deep within her brain. She smacked his arm hard. Ellie realized what she did and prepared for a fir, he merely smacked her back.

"Watch it. Some of us still need these for exams next week."

She couldn't seem to get over what was happening. "How did this happen?" Marco placed a hand on her shoulder and began talking about his cousin's visit as they walked outside the campus. Ellie still seemed shocked but was very glad that he was smiling again. "You have no idea how amazing this is, Marco... or how much I missed you."

He smiled. "I missed me too." Marco touched her hand. "I'm sorry for what I did. Sean was right... I screwed with your emotions and I'm sorry."

"You don't need to apologize to me."

"Believe me, I do. For everything." He squeezed her hand. "Can you meet me up at the Dot later today? We can talk."

A light bulb went off over Ellie Nash's head. "Sure, Marco."

The dark-haired boy hugged her tightly, their arms wounding around each other. As Marco disappeared, Ellie held her prize in her palm. His fancy cell phone. The ole pick-pocketing skills were still handy. She flipped it open and browsed through his saved numbers, pressing the CALL button under one _"Sexy Paige_ ".

Two rings.

"Hello?"

She leaned against the shady tree near the West Campus. "Paige. It's Ellie."

"What do _you_ want?"

"Plan B, I'm calling a Plan B. Now."

"Plan…. Are you sure, Ellie?"

Hazel green eyes gleamed. "Very sure."

 

*


	14. Chapter Fourteen

*

 

Thoroughly satisfied with the talk she just finished with Paige, Ellie Nash hung up the call with the snap of a cell lid.

_'This might just work…'_

Feeling the tiniest bit rebellious, she charted the next bus stop to Degrassi and headed straight for her boyfriend's place. He would be surprised to see her, she was certain of that.

To her own astonishment, through the mosquito-splattered screen, the actual front door was wide open for the world.

To how Sean was a naturally reclusive person, it was not normal circumstance when the front door was open. Frowning, Ellie pushed aside the deadbolt entrance, her mouth creasing. Once she stepped inside, she called out Sean's name. No reply.

Carefully, Ellie set down her back-sack near the couch and took in the wreck which was Sean's family room. Pillows littered, random pop cans… was company over? A _thump_ sounded from the tiny cramped hallway leading to the back rooms. Ellie shoved her head into the empty unlit bathroom then without knocking... big mistake on her part she would think later to herself... stepped into Sean's dully-colored and car magazine decorated bedroom. Heavy breathing.

All tangled together in the off-white sheets of his twin bed, two fully clothed blondes groped and kissed. Minus the wifebeater thrown on the bedpost. Her eardrums squeeze painfully listening to them.

Swallowing hard, Ellie continued staring at them until the female blonde swore under her breath. Ellie's hazel green eyes darkened visibly as Emma Nelson crawled out from under Sean to gather her designer purse, her blonde tresses sticking up, not making eye contact with anyone as she went for the doorway, "I'd better go…."

Vengeful eyes met alarmed light brown, becoming alarmed when Ellie grabbed the other girl around the chin, momentarily and warningly digging her sharp fingernails into her throat.

"That's a wise decision."

Ellie unclenched her grip, leaving several purpling marks before throwing Emma back against the bedroom door, letting her slip out of sight to face off with Sean who slipped his shirt back on quietly.

"Now I know why you haven't been calling me," she muttered.

"El-"

"Sean..." She smiled nastily through an oncoming rush of glittering tears. "I love you. Have you been sleeping with her?"

He closed his mouth and Ellie growled dangerously, "Answer me, you son of a bitch."

Blue eyes blinked. So passively. "No, Ellie-"

"Save it. Fuck her all you want. I won't hold you back," the redhead spat angrily, "its over."

Sean shouted at her back, either swearing or pleading, it didn't matter to her anymore as she grabbed her sack and ran for the door. Ellie had no idea where she was running to but _anywhere_ was better then back there. Ellie got as far as the Dot. Plans for Operation-Clueless-Dicks wiped from her thoughts as she sprinted into the alleyway connecting the street past Degrassi. Walking down the same way, her partner in crime with a knapsack. Paige nearly collided into her around the bend and opened her mouth to scowl when she saw the redhead fall to her knees.

"You look terrible."

Ellie laughed, loud and hysterically, her dark makeup leaking in twin streams. Never had she been so relieved to hear Paige's honesty. Something so brutally familiar.

She knelt down slowly. "What the hell happened to you?"

The other girl couldn't respond, somewhere between coughing and laughing and sobbing. Before Ellie belted out another round, she gasped, "I think they're on their own with this one."

 

*

 

He nuzzled the top of his head.

"I love you, you know that?"

A loveable squeal was made at this statement.

Absently, Marco Del Rossi smoothed the jet black hair atop his little brother's head, smiling warmly into dark eyes. Familiar dark eyes. Dark eyes that haunted his very nightmares.

Damian was not Dante. And never would be. Not while Marco was around. His mistakes would not become his sibling's.

A kiss clumsily bestowed its way into his hair when he lowered the squirming child into his crib. Tessa tousled her older son's hair. "How are you enjoying your vacation?"

He returned the kiss gently. "I'm just glad to be home."

"You do not have to baby-sit tonight, you know…"

"No- really, I've got nothing better to do…" Marco assured hurriedly.

"Marco, you do not need to-" Just outside the nursery doorway, a phone went off. Mrs. Del Rossi sighed annoyed for the interruption and called out after a few moments, "Marco, it's for you!"

Slowly, he stepped out into the hallway and his Ma thrust the receiver into his hands before reentering the nursery. He asked suspiciously, "Hello?"

_"Marco, it's Paige. I've got Ellie over here, she's an absolute wreck."_

"I'll be there as soon as I can," he said before hanging up and pulled on his jacket, racing into the next room to inform his Mom.

 

*


	15. Chapter Fifteen

*

 

After assuring his mother that everything was fine—stealing a small kiss from her and returning another into Damien's hair— Marco rushed out the front door. It had taken him a bit longer to get to the Michalchuk house on account of what felt like _the longest ten minutes_ of his life spent searching for his blasted cell phone.

Too frustrated to search any longer, he arrived to his destination out of breath and worried sick for the condition of his best friend.

Thrusting himself across the threshold, the college student barreled headfirst into something extremely solid and…achingly familiar. Before he could fall onto the _Welcome Home_ mat, a pair of muscular arms caught him around the middle to pull him upright and steady him on his feet. Marco stared bewildered at the bright red wool sweater knit just inches from his face. His brown eyes traveled upwards slowly to meet a set of blue eyes torn between confusion and shock staring right back at him. The mouth above him worked uselessly as soft distressing grunts passed recognizable and very pale lips.

"…This is a little awkward," Marco murmured, unable to move his hands gripping into the fabric of Dylan's sweater sleeves. Unable to move the weight of his chest from against the older man's.

Dylan closed his mouth.

"Where is Ellie?"

Glad to break the suffocating tension attaching to the space around them— _whatever type it was_ — Dylan gestured with a jerk of his chin, not breaking eye contact.

"Upstairs," he said. "Paige is with her."

Marco blinked, speaking very slowly as if Dylan were a toddler, "I need to go to her. You should probably let me go now."

Catching the cue, the muscular arms providing favorable heat to cold, lonely form withdrew to Dylan's sides. Marco shook away any weird feelings of isolation he got from not having the other boy half embrace him with a couple swings of his head, racing up the nearby staircase. He'd never get use to this.

Paige told him, holding her pink-glittered bedroom door closed behind her as the sounds of heavy girlish sobbing leaked underneath the crack, that she wasn't hungry. So a untouched macaroni-and-cheese dinner grew colder by the hour as he stirred him own spoonful thoughtlessly in a circle.

 

 

Eleven at night.

The noise upstairs calmed eventually. Around one, when television couldn't keep his attention any longer, the hockey player went for the kitchen to reach for a beer in the fridge.

Appearing from thin air to wander into the dining room and slumping into an empty chair, a tired Marco buried half of his face into his right hand, closing his dark eyes. Reopening his weary eyes as the first came over to hold out an unopened can of beer to him— almost as a peace offering— "You look like you need one."

Marco murmured his thanks (though it was too low to distinguish) and took a small sip of the foam before closing his eyes again, speaking up, "I'm going to kill Sean."

Dylan took this as an excuse to pull up another chair to join him, venturing further into this potential conversation, "That bad, huh?"

"He broke her heart. Ellie found him with his ex— that Emma girl from school. This is not fair at all, she didn't do anything to him to deserve this."

Marco shifted his face into his arms, no longer in the mood to talk.

Sensing this unceremoniously unpleasant territory mounting, Dylan cleared his throat and went to get another can. As he rummaged around, grasping another cold one from the vegetable chiller and tapping the pull-tab with his index fingernail, as he got a chance to flip it inward— it spilled gloriously golden-brown onto the tops of his newly bought Nikes.

Tasting the very same alcohol on the darker boy's impulsive lips, ones both warm and wet cushioning around his mouth as an painfully forward tongue slipped between his still stunned by the motion. Dylan numbly felt his back against one of the counters. He heard Marco moan once into him as if in hurting and summoned the nerve somewhere in the inviting haze to release the other boy's trap he had on his left wrist by easing his larger fingers between the Italian boy's. Marco's other hand however remained pressed against the other male's shirt, middle finger resting in a tangle of striped material. The blond responded this time to Marco's tongue, biting down a little and threading his free hand through very soft black locks.

Unprepared for the pressure, of Dylan's gentle hand or persistent teeth was uncertain, the dark-haired came back to his senses. Gasping, Marco shoved him back and stumbled backwards against the opposite countertop, undecided in the motion crawling up over it or not to escape. Dylan would not let this become his fault. He frowned, fighting to catch his breath.

"What was that just now? Didn't you say you hated me?"

Chest rising and falling violently, Marco looked down at the kitchen blue tiles.

"I had… to know…"

"Know— _what_! Just make up your fucking mind already and stop teasing me!"

Marco heaved a tight cry, eyes blazing with emotion, "You're not the only one confused about this! I'm suppose to hate you but. . . _that_ was. . ." He faltered, wiping his oddly dry mouth with the tips of his fingers and whispering uncertainly, ". . .I don't know what that was."

Dylan felt a tightness begin to build in his body, something wishing to explode— he wanted to punch him, he wanted forcibly drag him from the house, he wanted cleanse himself from this memory, he wanted— "When you figure it out, don't bother telling me because I'm done."

The older threatened, coming forward and grabbing Marco by the front of his light blue polo shirt, "I'm sick of you being able to pull me on a string, Marco. Of having your face appear in every stranger who passes me and of feeling like this all of this was my fault. I hate not being able to remove the taste of you from my mouth. I hate this game we're playing. _You are going to make up your mind_."

He licked his lips inattentively, now only inches from the other boy. "And you are not running away from me this time."

At that same moment, his little sister came into the hallway. Spotting them, she charged in screeching and knocked Dylan away, " _WHAT THE **HELL,** DYLAN! GET YOUR HANDS OFF HIM- **NOW**!_ " Pulling a dazed Marco into her arms and facing him away from her brother, Paige snarled, "I swear to _God_ , if you've done anything to him—"

"I'm sorry," The blond man interrupted, running a hand through his curls anxiously and shaken. "Whatever I've done to you, Marco. What I did to make you hate me like this. I'm just sorry. There's no point anymore in staying mad. There's been no point for a long time now. You had to have realized this by now."

The very same dark brown eyes just about pushed against Paige's trembling shoulder grew heavy, a small tear working its way into his eyelashes.

"I don't care who was suppose to apologize first. If it will end this fight we're having, I will apologize until my face turns blue —"

"Dylan, that's enough." Both Michalchuk siblings turned around to glance at the speaker in surprise. Ellie Nash, pink-eyed and looking a mess with her snarled red hair, looked back into the man's fierce blue eyes solemnly and fatigued. "I think you got your argument across. Let him be for tonight."

 

*

 

_But. . .how can I. . .?_

By the light of the living room nightlight, he stood over the male house-guest sleeping deeply, touching the back of his cool fingers to his tanned cheek. Leaning into the caress for a second, Marco parted his lips and sighed quietly, making Dylan smile broodingly.

_When. . .he won't let go. . .?_

 

*

 

"So, our plan is not going to work…is it?"

"Not at this point."

"…Ellie, do you think Marco still cares about my brother?"

"He's all he ever talks about. If anything…Marco is never going to forget Dylan."

 

*

 

As he slowly drifted back into conscious feeling of the sofa beneath him, Marco blinked slowly at a small note taped to the front of his shirt. Yawning slightly, he sat up and unfolded the notebook paper.

_The garage._

He had a feeling he knew that chicken scratch from somewhere.

Despite what his gut was telling him, Marco ruffled the hairs on the back of his neck, trodding for the garage door near the basement. Morning sunshine spilled vividly from the open garage door where Paige's older brother sat fixing on a pair of plastic rollerblades.

Sensing the other male's presence, Dylan held up another pair, smirking. "These are yours."

"Since when was it okay to be active so early in the morning?" Marco grumbled.

"It's only ten," the blond informed him and set down the skates, moving down the driveway without taking his blue eyes off of the other. "I'm curious to know if you've gotten any better."

Sighing, Marco knelt down to slip them on, somewhat surprised that they still fit. Though a bit snug at the toes. Following the first down the blacktop and past a neighbors front yard albeit wobbling, Marco shouted behind him, "All we are missing is a surprise dinner party hosted by your parents!"

Dylan chuckled, yelling over his shoulder and grinning, "Don't worry, they are long gone in Jamaica." Suddenly, he skid to a stop almost causing the other man to fall over in attempt not to hit him and frowned when Dylan asked softly, "Is this okay?"

Damn loaded questions.

Marco rubbed the sleeves of his sweater anxiously. "Yeah. What you said last night," he said. "It was true."

"But is this, _us_ , over?"

"It has been a long time."

 _That hurt._ Dylan didn't understand why he was smiling so cheekily.

"But I've never been against second chances when they are worth it."

Skating confidently past him, stomach feeling considerably lighter, Marco nudged him.

"Last one down the street has to eat the moldy egg salad in your living room."

Bright blue eyes flashed eagerly.

Dylan said, "You're on."

 

*

 

Two females on the lawn in brightly colored and cartoon-printed pajamas watched from a good view as they raced, the blond figure snatching the smaller into his arms and laughing as he fought courageously to escape his burly, impatient arms.

"Thank you for the clothes."

Paige eyed her redhead friend sympathetically, still not reassured by the dark circles under her normally lively eyes. "There was no way you were leaving this house, love. Marco would have hung me by my neck," she added. "What are you going to do about Sean?"

"It's not about _him_ , it's about _me._ " Ellie smiled gently. "Go on with my life. What else? I'm sure we'll have a nice long talk about everything eventually, it may include a couple well-deserved punches."

The blonde girl commented shrewdly, raking an intense and favorable stare over her, "Well, he's a loser for sure. I wouldn't think about anyone else if I had you in my manicured clutches." Tutting sadly, Paige walked back for the house leaving the other girl speechless.

Ellie opened her mouth astonished, tilting her head to the side as if thoughtful before spinning around and chasing after her.

"Wait- _what_!"

 

*


End file.
